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Bagging it: The long, slow goodbye
By Gina Spadafori
September 13, 2011
This morning I woke up realizing that this blog and my 14-year-old Sheltie are in the same place: Dying gracefully, and not in any real hurry to go.
The story on our blog moving you know already. The story of Drew … here you go:
Drew, a/k/a Drewbie a/k/a The Drewbinator, came into my life about a decade ago, after the death of my 15-year-old Sheltie, Andy.
I had figured Andy for the last of a long line of Shelties. While I had shared my life with Shelties for many years and had run the local Sheltie rescue for a time, I had long since migrated towards the sporting breeds by the time Andy died. But then I met Drew.
He’d come back to my friend Tami, who bred him, after bouncing through a couple of homes for reasons no one could ever figure, since Drew was — and is — perfect in all ways. He’s friendly to all (not a given in this breed, which tends to distrust strangers), beautiful and well-mannered. I was visiting Tami when Drewbie danced over to me, put two perfect white paws on my knee and looked me right in the eyes.
“Who is this?” I said.
“Drew. I need to find a home for him,” said Tami.
“You just did,” I said.
***
Drew hasn’t set a paw wrong since. He has charmed every person who has ever met him, behaved beautifully in every situation and been a healthy, happy and well-loved member of the family here since the day he arrived. The worst health problem he has had until now is going deaf. That happened so gradually I can’t even tell you for sure when it happened. Drew is so bright and observant that although I guessed he was hard of hearing, I had no idea that he was completely deaf until he went to stay with my friend Susan Fox while I was on the national book tour. In his own home, Drewbie could “fake it.” In a new environment, however, his disability was more obvious. Not that it mattered to him and everyone who loves him … which is to say, everyone he meets.
About a month ago, Drew started getting picky about his eating, and his thirst increased. After a couple rounds of veterinary visits and diagnostic rule-outs, the only thing left was bad news: Kidney failure. Terminal.
The grim diagnosis came on the day when another 14-year-old Sheltie died, one I’d written about in relation to the idea of home hospice for pets to sustain a high quality life for those who can be treated but not cured. The day Savannah crossed the Rainbow Bridge, Drew took her place on the riverbank.
So far, so good. Drew gets IV fluids at home twice a day, and an appetite stimulant to get him to eat a little more. After a couple of days the fluids had a profound impact and now Drew is feeling very, very good, and although still very picky about what he eats, will happily eat enough chicken, pasta, tripe and peaches to prevent death from starvation. He doesn’t mind getting hydrated at all, especially since it’s a chance to be the absolute center of my attention for 15-20 minutes twice a day. The IV bags hang from my dining room chandelier, and I’m feeling optimistic enough about Drewbie to order a case of supplies.
It’s a sweet time for us both, really.
I don’t know how long this site will be here, and I don’t know how long Drew will be here, either. For now, that’s just fine with me.
In the meantime, the Lorem ipsum is up on my new personal site, and blogging of a more personal and generalized nature will start there soon.
Top image: Drew from a few years ago. Bottom image: Drew this week, with the IV bag hanging from the chandelier behind him.
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Hang in there - my old catgirl has been in kidney failure since the toxic pet food debacle (Nov., 2006) and she has just started subq fluids daily in the past few months. It has made a world of difference for her - she is eating really well, blood work remains in the normal range and, like you, I don’t know how much more time we have, but each day is a blessing.
Drew is a beautiful boy! And he doesn’t look ready to go anywhere anytime soon.
Comment by db — September 13, 2011 @ 1:04 pm
Love ya, Drew!!
Comment by Jill Gibbs — September 13, 2011 @ 1:15 pm
this is a very touching story—so sorry for you both. How lucky you both have been to share such a special friendship for so many years. If it wasn’t for the IV bag, I would never have guessed Drew was sick—-he is just beautiful. You should always continue sharing your gift of writing!
Comment by Nikki — September 13, 2011 @ 1:17 pm
Thanks for sharing Drew’s status with us. I have a 15.5yo Aussie who presented with kidney issues 2.5 years ago. About 9 months ago a different vet put her on Chinese herbs and added monthly acupuncture. I also put her back on a raw diet with added calcium citrate. Her last bloodwork was very nearly normal, even in the kidney area. Yes, she is gradually slowing down, but her appetite and attitude are both very good.
The long slow goodbyes are kind of nice, when they’re relatively painless. Love our old ones.
Comment by Judi — September 13, 2011 @ 1:23 pm
There is something so sweet and special about senior dogs, sounds like you already know that <3 May the days ahead give you many sweet memories!
Comment by Stacie Enriquez — September 13, 2011 @ 1:34 pm
Kisses to the gorgeous boy from me :)
Comment by Vicky — September 13, 2011 @ 1:35 pm
As i have said here so many times, old dogs are a treasure. {{{Hugs to you and to Drew}}}
Comment by Liz Palika — September 13, 2011 @ 1:40 pm
Biggest hugs to you and that sweet guy!!!!!
Comment by Nanci — September 13, 2011 @ 1:47 pm
A handsome and dapper fellow with the kindest eye of any sheltie I’ve ever seen. Every day is a gift to treasure with our old dogs.
Comment by Melinda King — September 13, 2011 @ 2:18 pm
Hugs to both you and Drewbie….sharing this is so very special.
Comment by mary murray — September 13, 2011 @ 2:40 pm
What a wonderful expression of love and devotion. God, how I have loved my dogs. How would I get through my cares today without my old, mostly toothless, kinda hair-challenged border collie? I don’t think I could do it.
Comment by Debra — September 13, 2011 @ 2:54 pm
Those quiet, poignant times with an aging pet are bittersweet. You must slow down and truly appreciate the gift they have been in your life - and reflect upon the paradox of how long they have been a loving companion and how terribly short a time that really is.
I remember your columns about Andy, and my thoughts are with you and Drew. Hugs to you both.
Comment by Julie E — September 13, 2011 @ 2:58 pm
Drew came and visited my house one day, and he was not a gentleman; he was an ANGEL, even with the horrible Deerhounds in residence.
As to the rest, I’m in denial. I’ll try to get out of it quickly, for your sake, Gina. But with Kyrie dancing on and off that riverbank every few weeks, my denial pathways are on high alert.
Comment by Christie Keith — September 13, 2011 @ 3:08 pm
Hugs to you and Drewbie. This sharing is what I will absolutely miss when PC shuts down. Tears.
The stories of the cares we rejoice and suffer here are what keep me coming back each day. God bless, Drew.
Comment by VJ — September 13, 2011 @ 4:42 pm
What a sweet story and I also loved the comments others have posted. Especially #12…I am sorry to learn the blog may be going away (first time I have seen it) but I am glad a friend posted this link up on Facebook for me and all her other friends to see! Hugs and kisses to your Drew, perfect white paws and all…From MARTHA and Chloe, my little tortie lovey.
Comment by Martha Goff — September 13, 2011 @ 4:49 pm
Thanks for sharing Drew’s story. There is something incredibly bittersweet about having a pet grow old. I am going through it for the first time, with my 14-year-old dachshund. We’ve been together for 10 great years, it’s sad to know there aren’t 10 more. But he doesn’t know that and so we celebrate each day!
Comment by MG — September 13, 2011 @ 5:12 pm
Drew looks great for his age & problems ! I hope for many more good days for the 2 of together. It is very bittersweet with the seniors, enjoy every day you have together.
Comment by original Leslie K — September 13, 2011 @ 5:21 pm
Aw, there’s that face I love so much.
I lost my Bradley on Saturday to E. Cunniculi, which caused kidney failure and a gradual subtle impairment since June … then, in one night, catastrophic impairment.
At 8.5 he was too young to die but … yes, I have enjoyed these last months since the diagnosis, making more time to savor Mr. Boo, my Bug, the Holland Lop of my dreams.
He moved in eight ago this month, at six months old. I am so grateful for eight years but … it is never enough.
Hugs and kisses to sweet Drewbie. What a fine, fine fellow.
Comment by Mary Mary — September 13, 2011 @ 5:39 pm
We love you, Drew and Gina. And Mary Mary, so very sorry for your loss—the time never does seem to be enough, but what a blessing to be able to give our animals comfort and care until the end.
Comment by Glenye Oakford — September 13, 2011 @ 5:50 pm
Mary, I’m sorry about Bradley. :(
As for Drew, there’s no reason not to think he won’t be with me for many weeks (possibly months) to come. In fact, our long-time and beloved primary care veterinarian just called with the news that Drew’s test results from earlier today are much improved over last week. The fluids have apparently done more than make him feel better: They’ve improved his kidney function (which was, of course, the hope).
Drew and I saw Dr. Bill for more than Drew’s blood draw. I wanted to discuss what I would be looking for in terms of decline and also develop a hospice plan for Drewbie.
I just love having a veterinarian I’ve known for so long, and worked with so well over the years. We can have a frank and in-depth discussion about how to maintain quality of life for the longest time. That said, I would rather be one week early on euthanasia than one minute late, and he knows that, too.
It was a really good discussion, and I feel a lot more hopeful both that I will have Drew with me for a while yet and also that I will know when to send him on his way.
Dr. Bill also gave me script for the IV bags, and suggestions on where to get them filled less expensively. Good stuff to know, since I’m planning to use a lot of them at half a bag a day.
Comment by Gina Spadafori — September 13, 2011 @ 6:08 pm
Drew has always been one of my favorites among your dogs (don’t tell McKutie). He has such a joie de vivre in his expression - he epitomizes that old chestnut about “dancing eyes”.
I think that, if love alone could keep him with you, he’d be here forever. As it is, he is getting all the well wishes we can send.
Comment by FrogDogz — September 13, 2011 @ 9:16 pm
“Who is this?” I said.
“Drew. I need to find a home for him,” said Tami.
“You just did,” I said.
*sniff*
*tears*
Sometimes it’s just so damn right when these guys find us.
Comment by Therese — September 13, 2011 @ 11:11 pm
I would rather be one week early on euthanasia than one minute late, and he knows that, too.
———————
YES. I think some people around me believe I rush to euthanize, that there may still be “hope” … but hope for what?
I gave sub Q fluids to Bradley for four days. Took him as many to forgive me. He was only four pounds … not much skin to work with.
Like humans, some animals are very stoic and tolerant of tubes and needles and eye drops and being flipped this way and others.
Others are not, and Bradley had little patience for all of it. I would walk into the room and he’d glare and me and run away.
I am so glad that he lost nearly all of his function in one fell swoop, rather than bit by bit over many months. Now to keep his wife going …
Comment by Mary Mary — September 14, 2011 @ 4:50 am
hugs and belly rubs for Drew, what a champ on the dining room table.
Comment by Laura B — September 14, 2011 @ 6:35 am
Hugs to you and Drew. I’m glad it is a special time for you and he to bond each day. That positive energy is so good for you and him.
Hugs, E
Comment by Ericka — September 15, 2011 @ 5:29 am
Thanks for the update. It’s obviously not looking good for us getting to see him again, so please give him a hug and a chicken wing, or three, or four, from us.
Comment by Susan Fox — September 15, 2011 @ 6:39 pm
You need to be strong for him. Your pet is in the happier place right now. No regrets for your because you seem to be a good friend to him. I just remember this movie entitled “Hachiko”, a very touching film that show how loyal our pet can be. Cheer up!
Comment by donah — September 16, 2011 @ 2:34 am
Hi Gina. I know I’m usually messing with you on Bernadette’s page, but I just wanted to send some warm thoughts your way. I’m sure preparing for the passing of an older pet is different for everyone. Drew was very fortunate to find you. However you may be feeling right now, I’m sending you a big, fat, ((((((HUG))))
Erin
Comment by Erin — September 16, 2011 @ 7:21 pm
Thanks for sharing your story. Drew is just so precious. I have a 15 year old. My vet said his bloodwork is ridiculouly good for a dog his age. He does have degenerative myelopathy. A friend of mine told me senior dogs have good days as well as bad days. I hope Drew has more good days. An holistic Vet I had seen told me he had a dog in renal failure for 5 years. Stay positive and enjoy each moment with Drew. I appreciate each day I have with my oldster.
Hugs & kisses to Drew.
Comment by Sandra — September 18, 2011 @ 10:09 pm
I remember when Andy crossed the bridge—I wept as if he were my own. And I’m sure I will weep for Drew when it is his time. I have a 15-year-old puppy who was just diagosed with Cushings. We are enjoying each day as it comes.
Give my love to Drew.
Comment by kathleen — September 20, 2011 @ 2:15 pm
Cherish every moment and take more pictures and videos of your beloved dog. You’ll never have enough of it.
Comment by Junie — September 20, 2011 @ 11:42 pm