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Welcoming a new old friend as life takes a turn
By Mikkel Becker
September 2, 2010
Seems as if I’ve been given a lifetime of change in a very short time.
After a year of counseling together, my husband of almost four years and I decided that we were better off not being together. Details spared, Pat and I are trying to work out a loving, supportive arrangement for our 9-month-old daughter, Reagan, who is the love our lives. Pat’s parents went through a divorce when he was young, and we both hope to spare Reagan the worst of what can happen by making our separation one where we can still speak highly of each other, be supportive and stay friends. We both dread not having our daughter with us all the time, but this is a challenge we must meet.
There was also the issue of our pets. Our two pugs, Willy and Bruce, have been buddies since they were puppies but they both seem to prefer our company even to each other’s. Each dog had long ago picked out on which one of us he belonged to: Willy has always been my shadow, and Bruce has been Pat’s play buddy. We followed their lead, and so a couple weeks ago as I moved back to North Idaho, I left Bruce with Pat. And yes, I cried, but it was the right decision for him, and for Pat. I have had Bruce here since while Pat visited family, and they love being reunited. But I know it’s temporary, even if they do not.
But Willy is friendless no more. I was checking out the PetFinder.com application, which I’d downloaded on my iPhone, more out of curiosity for the new program than for anything else. The first dog who popped up was a Pomeranian named Mister Teddy Bear, age 10. He was older than I would have once considered adoptable, but I know far better now. I couldn’t resist his sweet puppy-faced picture, and I passed the iPhone around to my family to share.
We all talked about him, and we all knew that I could make the rest of Teddy’s life as loved and well-cared for as possible. I called and was delighted to hear that he had a “therapy dog personality” and loved everyone, including children and other pets. I had to meet him, and the rescue group set a time to come over to my new home.
I opened the door to a happy fluff ball who looked like a husky puppy, and when he looked up I could see why he was named “Mister Teddy Bear’ — his round, chocolate eyes and his roll- polly body covered with fuzz that made him look like Reagan’s stuffed bear. Teddy attached himself to me like a conjoined twin as I talked to the adoption representatives about him.
I found out that Teddy had been on Craig’s List needing a new home, and that he was in desperate need of veterinary care: To start, he needed to have nearly all of his rotted, painful teeth removed. The rescue group picked up Teddy as soon as they saw the ad, and they found his condition worse than they’d anticipated. His hair was so matted that what looked to be part of his chin was actually a mass of fur, plastic, food, and other debris. The mat had been on Teddy’s body for so long that it actually had become a part of him, and they needed to remove part of the skin and start him on antibiotics for an infection. In addition to the dental surgery (all but two teeth were to come out because those two were needed to keep his jaw from collapsing), he needed to be completely shaved because his hair was too tangled from years of not being brushed to get a comb through. He also had not been neutered.
“Teddy was a fighter and had a strong spirit,” Debbie and Catherine told me. After all the work on him was done, he was more energetic than ever.
We introduced Teddy to the pugs, and after a few sniffs of greeting, he was accepted into the family. The way Teddy acted so attached to me at our first greeting, comfortable in my home and with the pugs, it almost felt as if we’d met before, and I knew Teddy was mine.
After signing final adoption papers, Teddy officially became Mister Teddy Bear Becker, a dog who now had a forever home. Teddy is already sleeping on the bed, following me around like a second shadow behind Willy, and is sleeping under my desk right now as I write. Even if Teddy is small in stature and old in years, I am amazed at the warmth of spirit he has, and I feel all the more blessed that God has brought me Teddy for just the right change at just the right time.
In the spirit of change, I realize that Teddy will take different care from the pugs, who are young, healthy, and full of energy (and have all their teeth.) I will be training Teddy with the clicker, but, I realize many of the treats I use for Willy won’t work for Teddy, because he doesn’t have teeth to chew. Any suggestions from all of you for treats a toothless dog can eat? Also, Willy has way more energy than Teddy. Today on our walk I carried 8-pound Teddy for most of the walk, while WIlly surged forward with gusto. Any other wisdom from all you of you to share about balancing dogs of different ages and stages?
Yes, it’s a lot of change. I’ll soon be alone with my daughter, half as many pugs and a new heart dog named Teddy. Through faith, family, friendship and furry friends, life’s changes become that much more bearable, I know.
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Mr Teddy is adorable! For training how about soft cheeses? I bought those refillable tubes at a camping store and would fill them and just let my dog lick a bit of soft/messy treats while training. I used a mixture of raw meat and veggies blended together and things like that. Peanut butter is another, but it can slow down the training if they get too much at once ;)
Comment by straybaby — September 2, 2010 @ 8:03 am
Mr. Teddy Bear is cute! And so many props to you for giving him a good home in his older years. He’ll remember the late years of comfort and joy and not the earlier harder ones. People who adopt older pets get SO many karma points, in my book.
Besides, small dogs can live quite a long time - I knew one, a Chihuahua-something mix that lived to be 19. So Mister Teddy Bear Becker can now look forward to many more years of happy life.
Comment by CatPrrson — September 2, 2010 @ 8:07 am
My trainer suggested baby food for my anxious, hard-mouthed dog. It works well, if a little messy. My 50lbs dog just licks it out of the jar, but Teddy looks so small that might not work. Perhaps you can put some on a spoon and he can lick it off?
Good luck with all the change; I’ve been there and know how sad, crazy, exciting, scary it all is. Take care of yourself and your family and everything will come out as it should.
Comment by Another Kate — September 2, 2010 @ 8:44 am
Since Teddy is a small dog who needs few calories a day, and an old dog whose nutritional needs may be very specific, you could perhaps try training him using reinforcers other than food.
Comment by H. Houlahan — September 2, 2010 @ 8:48 am
You are a wonderful Mother to Reagan and a loving owner for your dogs, young and old.
I can feel your strength in your words written above.
Very best to you and Reagan, as you are going to have a happy and blessed life.
Comment by ericka — September 2, 2010 @ 8:48 am
I wouldn’t worry too much about the texture of the treats. We had a toothless greyhound for many years. She ate everything the others ate. She had dry kibble and all the cookies and treats that were loved by the pack. She even loved rubber bones! She was crazy! RIP Silly Sally!
Comment by Cathy — September 2, 2010 @ 8:49 am
Have you ever tried liver sausage for a training treat? i’ve never seen a dog that didn’t love it. It’s solid enough that you can cut it into right sized pieces, but soft enough to be eaten with gums or tongue
Comment by Anne — September 2, 2010 @ 9:11 am
I’m sorry you have so much to deal with right now, but the strength and grace reflected in this post makes me think that you and Reagan will be just fine. Sending lots of good thoughts your way. Teddy is adorable!
Comment by Ingrid King — September 2, 2010 @ 10:09 am
I plan my next dog to be a special needs senior. My first dog is approaching 8 and she has mellowed but is just as energetic. I would love to be able to reassure someone I am going to take care of his or her pet.
My city of Des Moines, Iowa only allows three larger dogs, one smaller. I am partial to larger dogs and think part of the No Kill Equation is to focus on ability to care for the pet, rather than arbitrary limits. May have to challenge it.
Comment by Erich Riesenberg — September 2, 2010 @ 10:09 am
Bella has only five teeth left, but she doesn’t have any problem eating treats of any kind. Something like cat treats—tiny, soft and smelly—would probably work well.
Comment by Kim Thornton — September 2, 2010 @ 10:11 am
Mikkel, I was in your training class with my Samoyed Fiona. As I might have mentioned I have young energetic dogs (like Fiona aka The Wild Thing!) and old dogs (13+ years old). One easy solution to the exercise problem is to take the oldsters on only one walk per day and the youngsters on more than one. Also make the “youngster-only” walk MUCH longer or active (my husband and I sometimes take turns running Fiona across our meadow, for example). Plus it will give Willy some extra quality time with you so he feels special.
Treat-wise…I think some types of peanut butter treats are pretty squishy. Maybe your mom could make some tiny PB “pupcakes” for Teddy ;-)
Comment by Susan Daffron — September 2, 2010 @ 10:27 am
You are an amazing young woman! kudos to you for adopting a senior special needs dog! Good Luck to you and your family.
Comment by Bev — September 2, 2010 @ 10:31 am
Mikkel, we met up at Gilroy when we follow the OK guys when they were getting their dogs, and drove south together a couple years ago. I have not had an email address for you, but I’ve thought of you a lot lately.
My marriage ended after 30 years and 4 kids…while a difficult thing, it is also an opportunity to re-invent my life the way I’d like it to be - and the same can be true for you! So glad you have such a loving supportive family, and you are blessed with such an adorable daughter! I know you can make the split work for all of you, and congrats on the addition of Teddy!
Email me if you’d like! I’d like to catch up and reconnect!
Karyn Newbill
Comment by Karyn of SDF — September 2, 2010 @ 11:05 am
Having rescued many dogs of different ages over the years, I have come to love and take in the ones nobody else wants. Blessings on you Mikkel, you will do right by Mr. Teddy. What I love about seniors is how grateful they seem to be- like they know you rescued them from the brink…
My Wire Haired Dachshund Annie had all of her teeth pulled and she could still eat ANYTHING. Their adaptability is amazing!
Comment by Kate — September 2, 2010 @ 11:25 am
Good job by you for adopting an older little guy!
Our dogs LOVE string cheese, and its easy to cut up into teeny tiny pieces (I quarter it length-wise, then slice into 1/4” bits—you get like 50-60 little bits out of one piece that way).
Agreed on the splitting up the walks when possible. He probably will build stamina as well—sounds like if he was that poorly cared for, he hasnt had the chance to get out and exercise either. Hopefully once he settles in and gets some proper love, he’ll be able to keep up with the pug!
Comment by Liz — September 2, 2010 @ 11:39 am
I love this.
About balancing the different ages…
I don’t have dogs, but I do have a senior kitty who is 15, that lives with my 3 year old kitty.
I let them be for the most part. The three year old starts chasing the 15 year old…and before I can tell them to stop, the tables turn and the 15 year old starts chasing the 3 year old!
The competition between them seems to keep the older kitty on her “toes.” It’s great.
Comment by Marcy — September 2, 2010 @ 11:59 am
Hi Mikkel, Kudos for adopting a senior Teddy. Another possibility for walks would be to take along a pet stroller (or “modify” a baby stroller) and put Mister Teddy in it when he gets tired. That way he’s still part of the family, might be encouraged to walk longer if his other playmate is along, yet you wouldn’t have to carry him when his energy wanes.
Comment by Vickie — September 2, 2010 @ 12:04 pm
I have dogs of different ages and temperaments with different exercise requirements. I try to do a walk or bike every day that meets the needs of my low key dog, then engage the higher energy dog in “extra” play that gets her more exercise. Fortunately the younger dog is a retriever (of the flat coat variety), so I have good options- swimming in an out after toys while the other dog and I stroll the beach, retrieving bumpers I throw into the fields as we walk, etc. I also use agility training to do the trick - the older dog does the skill once and gets his treat and goes and lies down, while I run the retriever through the same skills multiple times, often with an extra task thrown in to keep her busy.
That is my technique - good luck finding one that works for you!
Comment by lynda spangler — September 2, 2010 @ 1:19 pm
I adopted a now 17 yr old, 5 lb Chinese Crested, Tyke, a year ago. He is a feisty, loving little guy who gets along just fine with my 3 other Cresteds - ages 11 - 13. He had to have all but 3 teeth removed. He eats everything just fine, as long as it is cut into tiny bits. He is so small that he does not need big treats anyway.
Tyke has a luxating patella but was doing fine on walks until recently when he injured his leg. I bought a pet stroller, so Tyke can still enjoy walks. He walks a bit then rides the rest of the way. Walkies was always his favorite thing, so he can still enjoy it.
I am so happy to hear when people adopt senior pets. They have so much love to share, and so much to teach us about life, aging & death.
Comment by Susan G. — September 2, 2010 @ 2:23 pm
You are showing incredible strength and grace, on all fronts and all levels.
Comment by Susan — September 2, 2010 @ 3:53 pm
Susan I wrote almost those precise words to Mikkel in a private email. And they’re still true.
Comment by David S. Greene — September 2, 2010 @ 4:36 pm
Congratulations on the addition of Teddy ! As far as treats, any cookie[dog of course] broken should be easy for him. Or make some baked with sw potato & baby food. On your personal life, it sounds like you have a very healthy attitude. Look on this as a new adventure for you Regan & the dogs & all will go well !
Comment by Leslie K — September 2, 2010 @ 6:10 pm
Thank you so much to everyone for all of the support on this new chapter in my life. I can’t thank you enough for the love and support and care you all have given to me. I am so encouraged by all of you. I love the training and exercise suggestions! I never knew how creative it can get when it comes to dog treats. Mister Teddy Bear is going to think he’s found a home with Martha Stewart when I start busting out all of the treat creations during out training sessions! I’ll keep everyone updated as we clicker train with our new treat suggestions. I’m also going to look into getting a pet stroller and dividing up the exercise between Willy and Teddy by adding in extra walks and training with Willy. The greatest joy has been seeing Teddy learning to train for the first time. He has learned to sit, down and lick on cue to get his treats, and it’s so adorable to the evident glee on his face when the clicker and treats come out. It’s been amazing to see the impact training has already given Teddy in this new life by giving him a sense of control over what happens to him and I can see him already being much more relaxed. He’s also bonding with little Reagan and likes to sleep right under her crib and sit close by wherever she is. We are so blessed to have Teddy during such a challenging point in our lives, and this is further evidence for me of the amazing healing and comfort that only a pet can provide.
Comment by Mikkel — September 2, 2010 @ 7:47 pm
Do I love you? Yes. I continue to be amazed at your strength. Brave when sometimes it would be easier to be weak. Love you Mikkel. xoxo Joanie
Comment by Joanie Hart — September 7, 2010 @ 10:31 am
Mikkel, it sounds like Teddy has come into your life at a time where you needed him and he needed you. Someone/something is watching out for you both. Many good wishes for a happy road going forward for all of you.
Comment by Sandi K — September 7, 2010 @ 11:04 am