Soft-Hearted Pillow: A product I didn’t want to review
By Ericka Basile
July 14, 2010
May 12, 2010. Two days after Mother’s Day and my four-legged best friend and doggie-child, Coco, passed away.
I have to gulp when the emotions of sadness bubble up. I am just now starting to be able to even think about her for brief moments and smile.
It is interesting how our lives work and the people we meet. I truly believe life is interconnected and there is a reason for everything.
Take 18 months ago. I was helping a new client with her start-up pet business idea (I freelance as a business consultant) for grievance pillows. Pati Moore and I met and she told me her idea to design a pillow which would offer comfort for pet owners whose pet had died and the owner didn’t want to put the ashes in an urn or box. She had experienced the need to cry and cuddle a pillow when her dog Samantha passed away. So she invented Soft-hearted Pillow, which is a beautiful handmade soft pillow with a compartment inside to place the ashes.
Normally, your pet’s ashes are given back to you from the crematory in a plastic bag which is placed in a heavy cardboard or wooden box. With the Soft-hearted Pillow, this ashes bag is taken out of the wooden box and instead placed in a velvety soft inner satchel which ties closed with ribbons. Then, this satchel is tucked inside an inner zippered pocket of the Soft-Hearted Pillow. These made to order pillows and components are $110. You can have them embroidered with pet name, date, or a special saying you love. The pillow comes in pink, cream, black, or tan.
Pati and I worked on her business and marketing plan. I coordinated a photographer, graphic designer and web guru to work with Patti. The idea was a good one and Pati won awards from national pet magazines.
I liked the idea, back in 2008. I did not know how much I would come to need this product in 2010.
Coco was the one. Some people have told me she was my “heart dog.” I just know I have never missed someone as much as I do that little three-pound Chihuahua.
When I mentioned things happen for a reason part of this awakening in my thinking was when I met Coco. She came from a puppy mill; she was a puppy they deemed too ill to survive. I decided her last week would be spent cuddled in my arms. Well, TLC works in amazing ways because with careful feedings, love, and vet visits Coco not only survived but thrived and lived 5 years.
My love for this dog led me on a path of pet advocacy and business ventures. I started within my community with volunteering, fundraising, pet therapy- you name it I did it. I began a successful dog magazine, Naples Dog. I met Dr. Becker at the Global Pet Expo in 2006 and invited him to be the keynote speaker for our local Humane Society gala. I now consult for many pet companies and I also blog here on Pet Connection.
On and on I have ridden the waves of the pet world and now see this was the life I was meant to live. Coco started me on this journey.
Eventually Coco surcame to a multitude of illnesses in 2010. It was a rough few months: January pancreatitis, February epilepsy clusters, March glucose shock, and in May her little body said enough and she died in my arms, with me whispering sweet goodbyes to her.
When her ashes came back I couldn’t even look at the box. My husband put it in the closet for me. I cried for what seems like weeks on end.
Then it hit me. I wanted to get Coco’s ashes out of that closet. But where to put them? Soft-Hearted Pillow …wow, what a weird feeling: I helped mentor a company and now I needed their product so much I ached.
I called Pati and she set her sewing crew on a mission to make Coco’s pillow asap. Pati and I met at the same coffee house we used to meet when we were planning her business. She handed me Coco’s beautiful pillow and I lost it and started crying and felt the anguish all over again..
Pati was, of course, amazingly wonderful during my gut-wrenching sadness. She spends a lot of the time in her business talking pet owners through some of their stages of grief. Then, she has the wonderful job of knowing her product will aid in the overwhelming feeling of loss for that person. 
I wiped away my tears after a bit and my daughter came over and took this photo of Pati and I with Coco’s pillow. I truly was happy to have this lovely gift.
What do I do with the pillow? I hug it and cry on it and tell Coco I miss her. I find the soft pillow so much better than just looking at her in an urn or box on the mantle or dresser.
I can actually feel and hug my memory of her. This is something I needed more than I knew.
Soft hearted goodbyes, sweet Coco.
Boy did that post need a tissue alert. So sorry for the loss of your dog.
Comment by Nancy Freedman-Smith — July 14, 2010 @ 12:33 pm
What a lovely idea, that pillow. And bless you, Ericka, for stepping up and giving that little “throwaway” dog the life, love and care she deserved.
Comment by Rori — July 14, 2010 @ 1:11 pm
I think it’s a lovely idea, as long as everything inside is packaged tightly.
But I can’t even think about needing it someday. No no no, fingers in ears, hands over eyes, not for ages and ages and ages and ages. Gah!
Comment by Original Lori — July 14, 2010 @ 1:13 pm
That pillow is nice idea. And sorry about your dog.
Comment by PIA — July 14, 2010 @ 2:02 pm
First need to wipe the tears away. Erika so sorry for your loss. The pictures of Coco are soo sweet. Wish I’d had something like that pillow to put two of my pets ashes in. Now I’m attempting to find someone who would be willing to take the bronze urns the cremains are stored in and melt them down so that all of that can be added together with the cremains of my mother, my other pets and one day myself to fulfill my wishes when I die. Has anyone or does anyone know of anyone who has been able to have this done (melting the urns down to ashes)? I’ve had a couple of suggestions from sculptors who work with bronze but they weren’t really sure either.
Comment by VJ — July 14, 2010 @ 2:32 pm
My condolences on the loss of Coco! She was a cutie pie. Pets mean so much to most of us, those Soft-hearted Pillows are a marvelous idea!
Comment by CatPrrson — July 14, 2010 @ 2:52 pm
The pillow is a great idea! I have 3 little heart shaped boxes in a dresser drawer that I visit every once in a while. The crematory clipped hair from my dogs and places it on top of each of the box. I don’t know that I would want the lock of hair in with the ashes. I wonder if she can make a separate compartment for the hair?
Comment by Jill — July 14, 2010 @ 2:55 pm
I’m so sorry about your loss. It’s so devastating when we lose “the one” - even though we love all our pets, some just capture our hearts in ways none of the others do. I just lost my heart cat two months ago, so this post struck a nerve.
I had heard about these pillows before, but had never considered them for myself. My cats’ ashes are on my dresser in individual urns, and it provides some comfort knowing that at least a part of them is still with me on a physical level. But maybe it’s time to consider this pillow for Amber.
Comment by Ingrid King — July 14, 2010 @ 3:35 pm
I meant to add that Amber passed away a day after Coco did.
Comment by Ingrid King — July 14, 2010 @ 3:37 pm
So sorry for your loss. I hope that as time passes the pain will lessen and give way to happy memories.
Comment by Susan — July 14, 2010 @ 3:42 pm
I’m sorry for your loss. It’s always hard to lose a pet. Even after all these years, I still cry over the ones I’ve lost.
That said, while it’s a very cute and charming idea (I know several people who have made their own versions of this when their pets have passed) I think $110 is steep. A small zippered throw pillow, even with the custom embroidering, costs maybe $10 to make yourself. You can buy the exact same thing made to hide other products for $20-30.
With that kind of price tag, it honestly comes across as one of those many products out there designed to take advantage of a mourning owner’s deep pockets, even if it’s not intended that way.
Of course, the same could be said for basically any and all of the couture products reviewed so far. They’re all useful and pretty, but you can buy the exact same thing for hundreds less and spruce it up yourself.
Comment by Michelle — July 14, 2010 @ 5:10 pm
Sometimes it’s just more than one can stand to buy, cover and decorate a memorial pillow or a whatever edifice we chose when we’re in the throes of grief. To each his or her own. For me, I don’t want a pillow with a place to hold his ashes. I just want my boy’s ashes to magically reconstitute themselves back into his living self. Since that isn’t going to happen, clutching a pillow won’t help me. I do appreciate however that for many, this would be a real option. Whatever it takes for each and all of us to come to terms with our losses is fine by me. Whatever we have to spend to help us achieve a place of equilibrium, that’s not for me to judge either.
Comment by Deb — July 14, 2010 @ 6:35 pm
Ericka, Coco was a very special girl, and I love those pics of her. What a great idea to be able to still (hug) her memory. Great review (tear!)
Comment by Lauren — July 14, 2010 @ 7:45 pm
I am so sorry you lost Coco. I hope you can smile more at your memories of her soon. The pillow sounds like a great idea, but I also hope not to need one for a long time. Unfortunately mine are all seniors, so I guess I’m also covering my eyes and ears.
Comment by Leslie K — July 15, 2010 @ 5:29 am
Thank you for all your kinds words. Coco was the one, my heart dog, and I am happy to have earned her love.
People like you all on Pet Connection truly understand that our dogs and cats we spend our lives with are more than just our pets.
Comment by Ericka — July 15, 2010 @ 6:56 pm
I’m so sorry for the loss of Coco … I lost my little heart dog, Lexie, on May 11 2010 after a 15-month battle with breast cancer. (Yeah, sadly, dogs get cancer too) … her ashes are in a little box on my desk which is not terribly comforting … what a wonderful idea this is! Thank you for sharing from your own pain to help others who are grieving.
Comment by Bekye — July 15, 2010 @ 7:19 pm
It would be nice if this product had a vinyl pocket so one can have a picture of the deceased pet on the pillow.
Comment by perkysmom — July 16, 2010 @ 8:07 am
To Ericka: Thank you so much for entrusting me to create Coco’s beautiful pillow. It is a gift to me to know that the pillow is helping you.
To Other Kind Friends: Thank you for your comments. This product idea was created from my heart and still is with the absolute best fabrics, construction, and my own personal inspection with every product. For those who wish to keep their ashes, collars, locks of fur in a safe, beautiful, less costly place we also offer the same Soft-Hearted Memory Pouch that is included with each pillow only purchased separately. We also welcome any customized ideas such as the vinyl photo pocket (great idea perkysmom). Customers need only contact our customer service email address and we promise to do our best to make sure our products live up to your expectation. “we really are Soft-Hearted”
Patricia Moore
http://www.soft-hearted.com
Comment by Patricia Moore — July 16, 2010 @ 8:25 am