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Where do your pets sleep? Mine get to choose
By Dr. Marty Becker
March 19, 2010
There’s my “side” of the bed, and Teresa’s “side,” and then there’s the overwhelming majority of the nighttime real estate, which is owned by our dogs.
Yes, the Beckers let their dogs and cats sleep on their beds. We also allow them on the sofas, or, as Quora, right, and Quixote refer to them, “the dogs’ sofas.”
We’re not alone. The American Pet Products Association reports that 62 percent of cats and small dogs, and a smaller percentage of larger dogs, sleep on their owners’ beds.
Some experts warn that letting your dogs sleep on the bed with you will create behavior problems. Others contend it can make allergies worse. We’ve never had those problems, but we have to admit there is one small downside to surrendering the vast majority of our mattress to the dogs: Neither of us has had a good night sleep in the last couple of decades.
That’s right. The dogs wake up every morning, refreshed and rejuvenated, and Teresa and I stumble out of bed bleary-eyed and groggy. Teresa fortunately looks beautiful even without eight hours of restful sleep. I’m not so lucky.
If I’m ever tempted to change the sleeping arrangements, all I have to do is hit the road, which I do constantly, flying to veterinary conferences or to film “Good Morning America” or the “Dr. Oz Show,” or even just going on vacation, as Teresa, our son Lex and I are right now.
Teresa and I have all these hotel room beds to ourselves. We can stretch out, cuddle in the middle of the mattress, and move our legs around all we want. What we can’t do is get warm little dog kisses, see their eyes light up with happiness when they see us there first thing in the morning, or feel the comfort of a furry dog body when we crawl into bed after a freezing cold midnight bathroom trip.
And when we come back to the hotel room at night, there’s no four-footed, tail-wagging welcoming committee there to tell us how much we were missed and how wonderful it is that we’re back.
The way we see it, the unconditional love they give us every hour of every day is worth a little missed sleep.
What about you? Where do your pets sleep? And why?
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When we first started looking into getting Italian Greyhounds, we were warned that they must sleep in bed with us. We are OK with that, and our two boys love to snuggle with us under the covers. I’m not sure how two little guys seem to take up so much room. They like to sleep in, though, so we don’t have the problem of them waking us up. In the mornings they just look at us like “be quiet and turn off the ligth when you leave.”
Comment by Wendy — March 19, 2010 @ 5:26 am
Our 5 all sleep wherever they want. Usually in bed with us. Amazing that the chi takes up the most room too ! He also sleeps under the covers because he is a short haired chi.Just got a nice new really big dog bed with bolsters,only the smaller cat naps on it. All the others prefer our bed,daughters bed or the sofas & chairs.
Comment by Leslie K — March 19, 2010 @ 6:03 am
My two Shar-pei sisters sleep in the laundry room on gigantic dog beds (we converted the connecting “Harry Potter room’ under the staircase to their ‘den’, our two chihuahuas are in little beds on floor, 1 cat sleeps with Julia, 1 hamster sleeps in my son’s room, 5 cats sleep in cat room (yes, they have their own nighttime room with 6 litter boxes and 12 places to choose to rest their furry selves), and two lucky cats get to sleep on cat beds which are permanently on a table at the end of the master bed. The turtles sleep in their tanks and the bearded dragon sleeps half on, half on his favorite tree branch, and lastly, the rabbits sleep in on the second floor of their hutch outside. Oh, and the parakeets sleep outside in their cage with a cover over it.
Comment by ericka — March 19, 2010 @ 6:10 am
Our Golden Retriever sleeps in our bedroom anywhere she wants (and she usually rotates among three different places at night, including the master bathroom) except the bed. It’s just not big enough for the two of us and our big Golden girl.
Comment by Susan — March 19, 2010 @ 6:24 am
I usually have a bed full of cats-more in winter, less in summer-and sometimes the 80lb dog will sneak into bed. It’s a twin sized futon but he manages to get over my sleeping self and lay(or lie? Does the reference change between people and animals or animate and not?) between me and the wall. It’s usually because a cat has taken over his large dog bed.
Comment by redheather — March 19, 2010 @ 7:13 am
Drew sleeps on a bed next to the bed. The cats pick and choose. The retrievers? See for yourself. :)
Comment by Gina Spadafori — March 19, 2010 @ 7:14 am
For my entire life before meeting my wife, I’ve had dogs who slept in their OWN beds, i.e. not with me. When we first got Cami and Harry as little puppies, I pronounced my rule: dogs don’t sleep in the bed with us. Yeah, that didn’t last. Shows how much influence I have, doesn’t it? They sleep in our big king size bed, and in fact Harry would gleefully spend the entire day in that bed if he could. Every now and then when I can’t find him, I go up to the bedroom and there he is, happily snuggled in. Exactly like Dr. Becker and Teresa, P and I each get about 15-20%, and Cami and Harry (remember, they’re just longhaired dachshunds, not ginormous labs or mastiffs), split the remaining space. Cami finds a spot to her liking between us (sometimes between our heads, sometimes our hips). If you try to move her, she’ll groan at you, the message quite clear, “Hey, I was SLEEPING here. Do you mind?” . Harry owns the quadrant at P’s feet, replete with his own stuffed animals (his duckies) and folded bathrobe on which to snuggle as he sees fit. Again, like Dr. Becker, when I’m on the road—generally for business, so most often I’m by myself—it’s the only time I can stretch out. And I miss the waggy tails and cold wet noses in the morning, too.
Comment by David S. Greene — March 19, 2010 @ 7:19 am
All I can say is aaawww, love this story-line! Where does my pet sleep? Well it depends on what time of the night you are referring to. She starts out curled up in the crook of my legs on the bed, then about half-way thru the night, she is stretched out full tilt so that Im hanging on to the edge of the bed, then by morning, she is up by my pillow. I originally felt that I had one the bed battle but I think it means I won one round, she won two rounds….hmmm, guess that means she did win, the little sneak!
Comment by Sandi K — March 19, 2010 @ 7:25 am
Everyone’s on the bed, although feline Dickens comes and goes as he pleases. Everyone else is plastered into a group hug.
Comment by Phyllis DeGioia — March 19, 2010 @ 7:42 am
What else, pray tell, could induce an otherwise mostly sort of rational couple to install a king-sized bed in a small farmhouse bedroom?
Anyway, saves on heating bills.
Moe anchors the eiderdown on my side so that Perfesser Chaos cannot indulge in his project of systematically feeding it to the floor on his side. He is a totally crucial part of the sleep comfort system. He has been joined by foster pup Cole (aka Mini-Moe) in this function.
I kick ‘em all off while I get into bed and get comfortable, then invite them back up. Only old arthritic dogs are exempt from this ritual, and we don’t have any of those at the moment.
Absolute rule: anybody who growls at anybody, gives anybody the stink eye, or refuses to move on the first request gets his or her butt kicked off the bed for the night. (The two former have never been directed at a human — just experiments with intra-canine squabbling.)
Because yes, many of my clients have no control over even their own marital bed. If you don’t own that, the dog is running the show, and nobody’s happy. So those dogs get kicked off the bed for the duration of their training, and in many cases, permanently. It invariably distresses Momma far more than it does Lil’ Napoleon. (Daddy, who was often the object of Tiny Terror’s nocturnal wrath, is secretly thrilled.)
Our GSD is permanently banished from the furniture. Bed-sleeping gives her grandiose ideas about pack order and how to improve her own that we do not support.
Comment by H. Houlahan — March 19, 2010 @ 8:00 am
For many years, my bonded pair of rabbits slept under my bed. I just loved starting the day with them … they’d jump up on the bed to wake me in the morning.
The girl bunny died last year at age 11, leaving a much younger widower. He now sleeps in my large kitchen with his two (count ‘em) wives, who are medically fragile and quite messy. They sleep on thick towels under the kitchen table. I removed all the chairs to give them more space. It is so much fun to be greeted by them in the morning.
When the sickly bunnies first moved in I slept downstairs with them for several weeks so I could monitor them. One of them LOVES to snuggle under the blanket with her head of the pillow. Too cool.
Comment by Mary Mary — March 19, 2010 @ 8:22 am
My dog and my cat sleep where they want, but usually on the bed with me. However, I’m frankly mystified by people who seem to almost brag that their pets control the bed and occupy enough of it that it inconveniences the humans. I’m with Heather on this; any animal that causes problems or shows hostility for either me or any other animal is off the bed, and if necessary out of the bedroom. I’ve never known it to take more than two or three nights before order and good manners are restored.
Comment by Lis — March 19, 2010 @ 8:26 am
The issue never comes up at our house because the collie boy simply isn’t interested. He’ll jump up on the the bed if we coax him and maybe hang out for a little bit, then it’s back down onto his Very Own Bed under the window, which is open at night.
Can’t get him onto the sofa, either.
Comment by Susan Fox — March 19, 2010 @ 9:12 am
Hmmm, Lis, I guess that would mean my husband is off the bed then too…my cat at least doesnt snore or take the covers away….just saying. (-:
Comment by Sandi K — March 19, 2010 @ 9:17 am
My eldest dog gets to choose where he sleeps. He’s fully trained and polite in his quest for sleeping space, so he can sleep wherever he desires. (Usually on my bed. Sometimes on the sofa.)
My new dog has not been here long. She’s young and not very reliable yet. She sleeps in a crate most of the time and sometimes I bring her onto the bed. When she is fully trained and reliable she will get the same privileges as the elder. For the time being, we’re working up to it.
Comment by RTL — March 19, 2010 @ 9:41 am
My daughters chihuahua sleeps under covers against me when she is visiting, my golden retriever sleeps at the foot of the bed and the bernese mountain dog usually chooses the bathroom floor because it is cool! Basically this arrangement is “dogs choice”!
Comment by Bev — March 19, 2010 @ 9:44 am
Sandi K—snoring is generally involuntary behavior. I’m talking mainly about the choices the sleepers make about their behavior towards other sleepers.
Although severe enough snoring DOES result in couples sleeping separately, so that the non-snorer can sleep at all. But snoring that severe is a medical problem, and ought to be treated.
Comment by Lis — March 19, 2010 @ 9:47 am
Lis, my post was a feeble attempt at humor, sorry.
Comment by Sandi K — March 19, 2010 @ 10:00 am
Sorry. My sense of humor at the moment is on life support. :)
Comment by Lis — March 19, 2010 @ 10:09 am
Our dogs sleep with us. Husband often on the sofa :) The border collie/lab mix all 76lbs of her likes to have a pillow and takes up most of the bed. The Boston baby likes to be under the covers. The only thing I do not like is when either of them “push off” on me. So I get kicked in the back or in the ribs. Otherwise we are perfectly content.
Comment by Melissa — March 19, 2010 @ 10:47 am
I think a lot of people who joke about their pets “controlling” the bed don’t mean the pet does so by growling or other threatening or aggressive behavior. I think they mean “how can one small quadruped take up this much room on a king-sized bed?”
I think that because most of these people have cats. ;)
Comment by Christie Keith — March 19, 2010 @ 10:54 am
Well, although my 8.8 cat sometimes keeps me awake at night when she hogs the bed and occupies most of the covers and sometimes my body, I am happy she is there.
The main reason for my happiness is my phobia about snakes. I think one will crawl somehow into the house and into my room. If my cat is sleeping, I know there is none. She would probably go after it, or do something instead of just sleeping.
The phobia wanes most of the time, thank goodness. But my black little Inca does come in handy when it flares up again.
I have always let cats sleep where they want to. It works for me.
The infrequent times I travel I always wonder where are all the dogs and cats and birds. I see very few of them then and are all ways on the lookout. It is then I feel any emptiness without my Inca and Sophia.
Comment by Evelyn — March 19, 2010 @ 10:59 am
I downsized to a queen size bed after my divorce, and now three retrievers later (I had two cockers then), if I let them all on the bed, there’s no room for me! Bed hogs!! I love to snuggle with my pups, though. They’re only two years old, and one of them doesn’t sleep nearly as long as I do. It takes her forever to settle down and go to sleep, then she has fanciful dreams all night, and then she wakes up about two hours before I want to. So, right now, the cocker sleeps with me, one cat sleeps ON me, one cat sometimes sleeps kinda-sorta in my proximity, and my three juvenile delinquents sleep in their crates. I’ve tried sleeping without a dog in the bed, and except for when I was in excruciating pain from a back injury, it just doesn’t work for me. I need a puppy with me. :-)
Comment by Sherron — March 19, 2010 @ 1:10 pm
Dog the First, aka Kip, sleeps on the bed, ALWAYS on my left side, but where exactly depends on how cold he is. Summer, he sprawls out near my feet. Spring/fall, he’s generally tucked up next to me. Winter, he’s curled up UNDER the duvet.
The new adoptee, Dog the Second, Katy, falls asleep curled up right next to my head, ALWAYS on my right side, then gradually shifts so that she’s lying across the bed, pushing me to the side.
So yes, I’m schnauzered to the bed most nights, and find it hard to move around. But it’s worth it :)
Comment by K.B. — March 19, 2010 @ 1:29 pm
One dog sleeps with my husband, one sleeps with me, and one sleeps in the living room. The four cats come and go in the night and sometimes they sleep with me and sometimes they get kicked out of the bedroom because they think its play time. I use to have two 50 lbs dogs sleep with me in a double bed and it wasn’t bad. My sweet Johnny who is not with us anymore was never a problem to sleep with. My other dog likes to kick me in the back. Heck I even put my bed on the floor for her because she has bad hips, so she can get in and out of bed easier. I couldn’t convince her to use the steps I wasted my money on.
Comment by Lisa — March 19, 2010 @ 1:30 pm
I have a border collie mix and a cat. I leave it completely up to them as to where they get to sleep at night. My cat usually chooses to snuggle in right next to me while my dog prefers the floor by the bedroom door. Sometimes he’ll join us in the morning, but that’s a rare occasion.
Comment by Jenna Riedi — March 19, 2010 @ 2:19 pm
Girl dog generally sleeps on a dog bed next to the bed. Boy dog migrates throughout the house on some elaborate temperature regulation quest — dog “cool” bed, tile floor, rug, thin dog bed, fluffy dog bed. Every once in a while one or the other will get on the people bed, politely staying in a corner at the foot.
Funny, the dogs themselves never wake me up during the night, but I wake up on my own needing to know where exactly in the house they are. Once I know, it’s back to sleep for me.
Comment by Rori — March 19, 2010 @ 2:41 pm
Dr. Beckers dogs are completely in control of his and his wife’s life! And my life as well. I babysit them when Mom and Dad B. are off on their travels and guess what?…. They sleep in my bed too. Along with one or two of my own depending on what they feel like doing. I’m ALWAYS tired, but I love sleeping with the dogs. It’s better than sleeping with the fishes!
Comment by Kate — March 19, 2010 @ 2:58 pm
Border collies [mine, at least] seem genetically programmed to prefer their own beds/places on the floor. My pit bulls/pit mixes, though, are all about the bed. From day [or night] one, they’re all, “Nice bed. Hey, wake me up if anything interesting happens. ZZzzzzzz-”
Sleeping pibbles rock because you can move them around when they’re asleep and they don’t wake up. [Granted, this is easier to do with a 35 lb sack o’ potatoes like Bounce than it is with 60+ lb Smoky.] And no dog on earth can give a huge relaxed sigh like a comfortable pit bull. Yes, I wuv my doglets.
No behavior problems. Actually, they could be fighting all night and I wouldn’t know it — I sleep through major earthquakes.
Correction: one problem. A few months ago Smoke was feeling contemplative and chewed the corner off an old Hudson’s Bay blanket. Not cool, dude.
Comment by Luisa — March 19, 2010 @ 3:37 pm
My first husky would sleep on my bed occasionally, but we lived in Tucson, so most often he was too hot. My second husky was a Colorado boy, so he loved to sleep on the bed except for a few weeks inn mid-summer. I was not going to let him do this, as I enjoyed the years of a fur-free bed, but he was a rescue and the first night with me, he just sat next to the bed with his head resting on it and I couldn’t resist:)
But on those cold winter nights, I loved having him up against my legs. He always stayed near the bottom side of the bed, but in the morning he would come up and snuggle when he saw I was awake. It has been 9 months since he dies and I still miss that every day…
Comment by Di — March 19, 2010 @ 3:49 pm
it’s called FURniture for a reason. :-)
Comment by cheryl — March 19, 2010 @ 5:03 pm
Henry (rat terrier) sleeps under the covers between me and my husband and sometimes I share my pillow with him, too. I sometimes wonder if we are ruining him, but we love having him in the bed. He’s a good sleeper, too, but hubby does sometimes get paws/claws in the back.
Comment by Sara Jo — March 19, 2010 @ 6:58 pm
Someone once told me the name King Charles Spaniels came about because when King Charles was around they let these dogs sleep in their beds. It was cold and the dogs were kept them warm. Anyone a history buff to verify this?
Comment by ericka — March 19, 2010 @ 7:12 pm
Our dog now sleeps in his crate, because he got into the habit of squeezing through the cat door into the garage at two in the morning and raising havoc. I should say, his new crate; he didn’t like the old one, but the new one holds his favorite bed and he can stretch out his whole weenie body on it, so he’s happy now.
Our three cats are all on or in the bed. The youngest sleeps between us, and always circles twice and then flops heavily down. The eldest likes to curl up against my husband’s tuchus. The Sphynx insists on being totally undercover, and after nine, going on ten years, I don’t sleep comfortably without him tucked in next to me. It’s almost as bad as being without my odder half.
Comment by Eucritta — March 19, 2010 @ 7:39 pm
@erika, I’ve only read that the spaniels were named so because Charles II was very fond of similar small spaniels, but I’m no expert on that or any other dog breed. But, dogs have a long history of being used for warmth, and I’ve also read that in 16th C. England - and probably earlier - young dogs or puppies in bed were thought to alleviate some of the ailments of age. Akin, I think, to the folklore that chihuahuas will absorb asthma, which was why my grandmother was given her beloved little Teddy.
Comment by Eucritta — March 19, 2010 @ 7:48 pm
Both Kings Charles (and other members of the Stuart family) were very fond of toy spaniels. Mary Queen of Scots and Charles I had their spaniels with them when they were beheaded. That’s how they got the name. During the same time, it was believed that the dogs helped to relieve stomach ailments and other aches and pains (presumably from the warmth of their bodies), so they were known as comforter dogs. No doubt they also served as bedwarmers and, supposedly, flea catchers. The word Cavalier was added to the name in the 20th century to differentiate them from the English Toy Spaniel, which in England is known as the King Charles Spaniel. How’s that for confusing?
Comment by Kim Thornton — March 19, 2010 @ 7:57 pm
I should add that the above is a very truncated and not very well organized story of the breed, but it gives you some of the highlights.
Comment by Kim Thornton — March 19, 2010 @ 7:59 pm
Wherever they want. The lab prefers furniture and sleeps with me, whether on the couch or bed. The shep-x prefers the floor, usually near the entry to the room I’m in. The cats have routines that shift over time, but there’s usually one curled beside me in the morning. I sleep better with them (they alert to any concerning events), and warmer (not always a good thing). ;)
Comment by Perri — March 20, 2010 @ 1:19 am
My rescued Staghound sleeps on the floor of the shower every night. She picked that spot 2 years ago in the dead of Summer. We’re in Florida and she’s a big sighthound….I think she likes the cool surface. :-)
Comment by Joy — March 20, 2010 @ 5:14 am
We have a licensed rescue shelter home…the bottom floor is totally for the foster dogs. They use crates with blankets and doggie beds. Our personal dogs sleep in different areas….Buddy has a huge dog bed in the kitchen…nicer than my couch, really….actually is built like a dog couch. We have foster puppies just now so 7 month old Baldwin sleeps in a large crate next to them….Holly is the old girl, and she has a queen bed made for dogs next to our bed. She gets in bed with us for her lovin’, and jumps down into her bed.
Comment by GWP Rescue — March 20, 2010 @ 5:30 am
Milo, our cocker beagle mix, is a lovely bedmate and keeps my husband and me warm by snuggling under the covers against our feet. Our three year old human child frequently shows up sometime in the middle of the night and is not nearly as accommodating, as he loves wiggling his pointy little elbows and knees in between us.
The cats DON’T sleep so they’re banned from our room and seem to spend most of the night chasing each other all over the house. Tasha, our greyhound mix, would love to sleep in our bed, but that became just too crowded, so she sleeps on the couch.
Our two older (human) sons (I feel bad leaving them out) sleep in their room and the cockatiel sleeps in his cage.
Comment by Eliblu — March 20, 2010 @ 8:00 am
The two pit bulls sleep in bed, sometimes under the covers. They’re very polite, very snuggly, and I had such a hard time sleeping after both of Luce’s knee surgeries because she had to sleep in her crate and not with me.
The Border Collie sleeps on his own bed next to my bed, tethered to a large piece of furniture. If I don’t tie him, he’s jumping on my face at 4 am because he’s awake and I should be too.
The cats sleep wherever they want. They are, after all, masters of the castle :p
Comment by katie — March 20, 2010 @ 8:35 am
Before the arrival of baby Jersey I bought a crate with a lovely soft crate pad and loads of polar fleece blankies. Guess where she ended up? Under the covers in our bed.
Comment by Karen Friesecke — March 20, 2010 @ 12:20 pm
My two dogs Linus an Aussie mix and Stetson a Lab were both originally trained to either sleep in their crate or on their dog beds. However, as it got cold in the winter time I allowed them to hop up into bed. Linus likes to get up and sleep on the couch however, Stetson still refuses to jump onto the couch.
Comment by Colby — March 20, 2010 @ 5:29 pm
Sadie and Gracie (Labs) sleep wherever they want, either with me in the bed, or on their own beds on the floor beside the bed. The cats…well, wherever. Usually Sabrina is on my pillow, smack up against my head, Lucy on my legs, Rocky snuggled up under my left arm, and Bailey curled up between the dogs (wherever they happen to be). Newest resident and failed foster Bandit will decide later today; when her quarantine for a URI ends and she begins her introduction into our little menagerie—I suspect it will be wherever there’s a warm person, since she’s quite a cuddler.
Comment by Shellie — March 21, 2010 @ 4:12 am
LOL. This is great. Dooley (former BOB Boy) sleeps in a crate in the bedroom. Mainly because I don’t like being woke up at 3:00 AM by a bouncy young boy doing a happy dance on my head with a tennis ball in his mouth. Other reason is with all the field work we do, Ticks are an issue.
Comment by Verde — March 23, 2010 @ 8:17 am
My two part lab/part pits sleep in bed with me naturally! Isaiah sleeps next to me, with his head on the pillow (ok, I gave him an old one of mine) and Abraham sleeps at the bottom of the bed on Isaiah’s side. I like them with me, and they like to be there. In the morning if I announce, “I’m cold!”, Abraham will get up, and go under the covers and cuddle until I warm up. Whose more spoiled? I have no idea, do you?
Comment by Sarah — May 10, 2010 @ 11:58 am