pet connection

The photo accompanying this post is of my Australian Shepherd, Bashir, and my nephew, Adam. This was taken as both sat atop one of Kindred Spirits’ pieces of agility equipment after a play session. Both boys – human and canine – look happy and satisfied with each other.

Getting to that point was not easy, however. Although well socialized to kids as a puppy, in his young adulthood Bashir thought kids were creatures from another planet. They didn’t act right in his opinion and screamed, hollered, flailed their arms around, and did other mysterious things.

With lots of behavior modification to teach Bashir that kids were the source of good stuff – games, playtimes, and treats – Bashir decided that perhaps he was wrong and kids could be an acceptable part of his life.

However, knowing Bashir as I do, I am always watchful. He has far less patience with kids than do Archer and Riker. During the Christmas holidays, I watched Bashir as he watched my youngest nephew. When Bashir began to get tense, I simply removed him from the family get together and put him in a back bedroom. I didn’t want him to think he was getting punished – after all, I want him to tell me when he’s had enough –  so I gave him a food dispensing toy to occupy his time.

Knowing our dogs and their individual personalities is a huge part of preventing dog bites. Being realistic about our dogs is important; Bashir isn’t a bad dog because he has less patience than my other two dogs.  I’m pretty short on patience with young kids, too. That’s just who we are.

Reading body language of our dogs when they are with kids or greeting kids is very important. If, when with kids, the dog is relaxed, his body is loose and wiggling and his facial expressions are also relaxed and open, then he’s probably fine with kids at that moment. However, if the dog tenses up – as I saw Bashir do – or if the dog turns away from the child, yawns, licks his nose repeatedly, tucks his head away, tries to hide, glues his tail to his back legs or belly, or growls; then the dog needs to be moved away from the child and the situation.

Never try to force a dog to greet a child if the dog is uncomfortable. Not only may the dog bite the child, but he can lose trust in you. His thought processes may be, “Hmmm. I didn’t want to greet that strange creature, didn’t want that creature to touch me, and my owner pushed me into that creature’s face. I’m not happy about that.” Instead, you want your dog to know that he can rely on you to protect him when the occasion arises.

Parent also need to be proactive by teaching their children how to behave around dogs. I worked with a client recently whose dog was sleeping when a neighbor’s child came into their house (invited) but then ran across the room, grabbed the sleeping dog by the head and squealed in a high pitched voice. The dog snapped at her and broke the skin on her face. So, a previously well behaved dog who lives with four kids now has a record with animal control for biting a child on the face.

All kids need to know that they should never charge at a dog, either in the house or outside. Kids should also ask the dog’s owner if they may approach the dog. If the owner says yes, then the child needs to walk to the dog and let the dog sniff an outstretched hand first. Then the child can pet the dog’s neck or back but not the top of the head. Very few dogs really enjoy that. But scratching behind the ears – yeah, that’s good!

Children also need to know that most dogs don’t liked to be hugged by the head or kissed on the nose. Those are natural ways to show affection for us but are not for the dog. In addition, those displays put the child’s face right in the dog’s face and makes a bite far too easy should the dog be grumpy or impatient on that day.

If the owner says that she would prefer that the kids’ not pet the dog, the kids need to accept that. Parents can explain that not all dogs like kids. Or perhaps the dog is working. When I’m out with Bashir and he’s in his vest, I do not allow people to pet him. As a service dog he’s supposed to be focused on me, not everyone else. I’ve had parents get mad at me for not allowing their kids to pet him.

Another lesson for kids that parents can practice at home is that of teaching the kid to be a tree. If the child is outside and a strange dog approaches, the child should never run but instead, should become an uninteresting tree. Freeze, tuck the hands in the armpit and look at the sky. So at home, tell the kids to run around wildly, then call out, “Tree! Freeze!” Emphasize becoming a tree quickly, quietly, and in the right position. Then explain they should not move until the dog walks away and even then, they need to walk away slowly and quietly.

If the child is chased by a dog or knocked down, then the child should curl up in a ball with arms across the face and hands covering the ears.  Again, the child needs to be quiet and not scream. He should remain in this position until the dog has gone away.

At home, many family dogs are incredibly patient with kids, yet many of the dog bites reported are by the family dog. Why? Well, in many instances the dog acts like a saint for so long no one expects that the dog will ever hurt a child in the family. So the kids are allowed to ride the dog like a pony, climb all over him, pull up his eyelids and peer into his eyes (while he’s sleeping) and otherwise torture even the most patient dog. Then one day he’s startled while asleep, or a paw is stepped on, or a knee gets him in the belly, the dog loses patience and reacts by snapping at the child.

Children need to be taught to respect the dog. Leave him alone when he’s eating, sleeping, relieving himself, and chewing on a chew toy. Kids should also be taught that the dog is not a playground or a piece of furniture.

Parents also need to run interference. Make sure the kids do abide by the rules and separate the dog from the kids when the dog is getting impatient or tired.

Last but certainly not least, never ever leave a dog alone with a child under the age of ten years old. It only takes a second for an accident to happen.  Far too many dog bite accident reports contain a statement from a parent stating, “But the dog has always been so patient with the kids I never expected him to bite one of them.”

Dogs and kids can be a wonderful thing; I have many fond memories of growing up with dogs. As a toddler my folks had a German Shepherd, Butch, who taught me to walk and was my dedicated and patient guardian. I blame him for my professions today – dog writer, dog behaviorist and trainer – I figured I imprinted on dogs before I did people.

To protect both our dogs and our kids, we just need to help the relationship between kids and dogs grow carefully, with supervision, dog training, kid teaching, and care.