You’re either an animal person or you’re not
By Phyllis DeGioia
October 16, 2009
Chicago Now blogger Stephen Markley wrote about why he hates dogs. After reading it, my conclusion is that he doesn’t hate dogs and cats, he just doesn’t like them, and in today’s pet-crazed world, that’s tantamount to the same thing. He lists many reasons he doesn’t like them.
What’s hilarious is that some commenters wrote that the reasons he dislikes pets are the very same reasons they love theirs.
While I feel sorry for Mr. Markely because he is missing out on the incredible experiences I’ve had with pets, it is a perfect reminder to those of us who spend much of our day and dreams thinking about our pets or even earning a living with them that not everyone feels this way. Just as we don’t all love football or Thai food, some people are not animal people, and they never will be. We may think of them as missing some important gene, but they are not genetically defective.
I often mention that the lives of people without pets must be terribly dull and unamusing, and I’m certain that parents of human children feel the same way about a childless person like me.
The other day I was reminded that not everyone loves dogs when a computer technician arrived. He clearly did not like dogs, and Dodger was doing his best to meet and greet, and make the technician fuss over him the way everyone else does. No such luck for my poor bouncing boy, who ended up in the back yard while the technician was here.
That guy was in direct contrast to the furnace guy who walked in and said “Wow, an English setter! I used to breed them!” and gave me “an English setter discount” (it was actually because he took so long to get here, but I loved it nonetheless).
Pet lovers, especially the hard-core among us (and you know who you are), need to be reminded once in a while that not all of our guests, service people or friends like animals. They don’t want a dog jumping on them, a cat shedding on their clothes, nor do they want to hold your gerbil or let your bird poop on their shoulder. Some folks are afraid of animals, and some simply aren’t attracted.
Even within animal lovers, not all of us like all animals. My sister’s horses are beautiful and I love feeding them treats, but after seeing my sister end up in the hospital twice after riding them there is no way I am getting ON one; she stopped asking years ago if I wanted to ride. I like my bones where they are. Furthermore, while I love Melissa Kaplan’s hilarious photos of her huge iguana Mike, she knows darn well I don’t want to hold him, and I don’t want to touch any snake on the planet.
Feel sorry for those folks who are not animal lovers and about what they’re missing, but respect their wishes. I don’t want anyone to force me to sit down and watch a stupid football game, so I don’t force my pets on anyone. Life is all about variety and preferences; the good news is that I don’t have to spend time with those folks who just aren’t animal people.
I know exactly what you mean. My boyfriend likes my dog OK but feels that letting him eat greasy dried cow tracheas in bed is a bit much. I can respect that.
Comment by Sheyna — October 16, 2009 @ 6:18 am
When my cat Neko escaped (broken screen door + crafty cat = lost cat) we went door to door canvassing the neighbourhood. We quickly saw which neighbours were animal lovers (“Oh No! I’m so sorry. Please give us a poster, if we see him we’ll call straight away”) vs non-animal lovers (“why are you bothering me about a cat? What is wrong with you?”). This experience made me realize that I just can’t be friends with non-animal lovers. The callous attitude about my missing cat I received was as painful as if they had punched me in the kidneys. I don’t hate these people, but there is no way they could ever be close friends with people with such a horrible attitude toward fluffy family members who are so dear to my heart. (Neko was found after a week of searching, he is now home safe and snuggled in his cat bed).
Re Sheyna’s Comment: I love my dog more than anything but I also hate doing laundry more than anything and so greasy dried cow tracheas are not allowed on my nice sheets. He has the option of chewing other non-greasy items in my bed (like last nights beef knuckle)
Comment by Shauna — October 16, 2009 @ 6:29 am
I can get totally immersed in relating to a dog. Canine beings have something about them that maybe remind us of our ancient past, when we were sitting around a campfire with our proto-dog wolves, mutually enjoying the meat that they helped us bring down. That, deep down, is why I am a dog person. It connects me with my inner Cro-Magnon.
However, I know several people who are 1. scared of them or 2. just hate them for some reason. Sometimes it is political— dogs take up resources that could be used to feed, house, and clothe the poor (the reason I think Thorstein Veblen hated them so much)— and sometimes it is something deeper down. Maybe it is a disdain for the predator.
Or maybe it is nothing more a heightened sense of cleanliness that can’t stand the notion of a slobbering, shedding beast that tracks mud on the carpet and sometimes likes rolling in and consuming fecal matter.
Comment by retrieverman — October 16, 2009 @ 6:45 am
I agree 100% with the sentiment of this post. Some people really do not like being around animals, just like I cannot take the smell, sticky touch or constant shrieking of a child. (of course I get a lot more guff for not liking kids) So give them the courtesy of keeping the animals out of polite conversation or short visits.
I also agree with retrieverman here about predator distain. I live in an area where wolves and coyotes are shot just for exsisting. I know people who talk without regard about shooting wolves because “They are killing my deer!” on their hunting property. Gah!
I feel a deeper bond to animals than I can explain fully. I can get lost in unspoken conversations with my pets, just as with my spouse. Not only have we evolved alongside them, we have, in many cases, shaped them to what they are today. I kind of look at animals as the reason humans (other animals) got where we are. They were of great importance to our survival as a specices, and our rise to the level we are on today. The fact that we no longer need them in many cases is disheartening since so many humans have entirely cast off animals as “useless”. Then you get this disconnect where people don’t like animals at all.
I typically keep non animal lovers at a generous arms length in any personal realtionship because I find these are the people who really are not comaptable with some of my closest held beliefs and I just don’t get along with them anyway. . .
That being said I respect those who do not like animals. I keep the dogs & ferrets locked up when we have a tech or someone outside the circle drops in. I also do not try to break the “rules” by having the obnoxious dog running everywhere or showing up everywhere assuming they are welcome. I rarely talk about animals outside my closest friends. Because I get irritated by those who go on and on about their children, having babies, and all the boring/irritating stuff they do without regard for others-I give others that same level of courtesy that I would hope to recieve. Thanks for the reminder.
Comment by Kristy B — October 16, 2009 @ 7:59 am
Kristy B, I totally agree with the irritaion at ad nauseum stories about other people’s kids - and often they are stories about nauseated kids, which I really don’t want to hear. If I try telling most of those parents about any illness my dogs might have, I’m cut off impatiently, but if I don’t listen and offer sympathy to them - I’m the horrible, bad person. It’s just rude, IMO. It’s not that I have the intense dislike or hatred that so many have of other animals. I actually can get along with that dreaded group of kids - teenagers - if I have something to share with them (and it doesn’t always have to be animals) - it’s more babies and toddlers that I’m not comfortable with or interested in discussing.
It’s really the double standard thing that bugs me. If someone doesn’t want to hear about or see pictures of my dogs, because dogs aren’t as good or interesting as their kids, why do they have to treat me like dirt when I don’t want to hear about of see pictures of their children? I don’t tell them they aren’t ‘normal’ or are ‘mean’ (I may think it, but I don’t say it). I like pretty much all creatures. I’m not fond of parasites, and disease-carrying invertebrates, and I don’t want to interact much with fish, but spidera, snakes, even strange, ugly, and scary creatures (anteaters, naked mole rats, bears) are cool in my book. I’d like more people if they could just be nicer to me about not wanting to have close interactions with kids.
Comment by KateH — October 16, 2009 @ 8:47 am
It’s not always easy in the workplace to dislike kids and still interact with the “team” you work with. I’m really not interested in hearing about or aaahing over pictures of their progeny, but also can’t afford the “pariah” status that an open expression of my dislike may bring.
What seems to work out okay when shown a picure of someone’s baby (and they really do all look alike to me!) is to just look at the picture, smile for a moment, and then change the subject to something work related. It seems to get the message across.
In a non-work setting, I just smile and don’t say much of anything, or - if there is something appropriate to change the subject to, I change the subject.
I’ve never been challenged on this in a work setting, and only rarely in a non-work setting.
As far as my critters go, I display pictures of them in my office space in the same way that others display pictures of their kids. It seems to get the point across . . . . . . .
Comment by The OTHER Pat — October 16, 2009 @ 8:57 am
I’m going to go against the tide here: I do my best to keep my pets at a distance from people who don’t like animals, but that’s not because I respect them; I don’t. It’s to protect my pets, because people who are either angry or fearful or both may lash out if pressed.
Just like dogs and cats [g].
Comment by Eucritta — October 16, 2009 @ 8:57 am
Hmmm . . . . maybe people should keep their kids away from me for the same reason!
JUST KIDDING!!!!!!
Comment by The OTHER Pat — October 16, 2009 @ 9:02 am
I remember a time I was walking my older pit bull lady dog at a park. It was an on-leash park, but people still let their dogs off leash. We encountered a 6-mos-old lab puppy, covered in mud with a penchant for jumping on people. The owner was about 500’ behind her, yelling she was friendly. Well, yes sir, I see that, but I prefer to remain relatively mud-free when I’m in the on-leash area, plus my old lady pit bull has a low tolerance level for unruly, large puppies. Mina yelled at the dog good and proper, which the puppy ignored, and we moved on with life.
We passed a woman who was clearly afraid of Mina. I put Mina in a sit. As she walked past, I was about to warn her about the lab puppy when who should appear on the horizon but said dog. She charged over, happy as can be, and planted two big muddy feet on this frightened woman’s clothes. I could tell the woman was trying hard not panic, she was stiff as a board. All heck broke loose when Mina thought she should be removing that lab puppy from the woman by bodily force. So here I am with an unhappy dog straining at the leash, a prancing puppy who is enamored with a petrified woman, and a dog guardian walking in the opposite direction apparently immune to my screams of him to get his dog. I finally had to tie Mina to a tree and corral the dog. The owner finally moseyed over, I yelled at him thoroughly, he seemed properly chastised, and the poor woman walked away CRYING.
That was perhaps the most painful reminder that not everyone likes or is comfortable around dogs (and really, most of us do not want a 50 lb puppy plowing into us). The situation could have turned out worse, circumstances depending. We should definitely be cognizant that not everyone is enamored with the charms and quirks of our canine and feline brethren.
Comment by Rinalia — October 16, 2009 @ 9:08 am
All I have to say is that I absolutely agree with everyone’s comments here.
Comment by VJ — October 16, 2009 @ 11:07 am
I enjoy talking to cats and dogs I meet so I say nice things to them, like hello.
I do not enjoy talking to babies and little kids, so I don’t.
Does that make me a horrible person? No, it just shows where my interests lie. Anyway, there are plenty of people who coo over babies and love talking to young-uns.
Comment by Colorado Transplant — October 16, 2009 @ 4:03 pm
Y’all shoulda seen the pet-hating comments the first-time poster moderation filter caught.
On second thought, you don’t need to. Their senders are all banned so I don’t have to see more from them, either.
Some people really do need therapy for their steady (and always anonymous!) hate-spewing and chronic unhappiness.
I’d suggest they really need a pet, but I wouldn’t wish these miserable haters on any animal.
Comment by Gina Spadafori — October 16, 2009 @ 6:46 pm
I think an entire post of just the kitten-kickers’ hate mail would be marvelous!
There’s a big difference between being “not a pet person” and filling your empty life by sending hate mail to a pet blogger.
There’s lots of things I think are an idiotic waste of time, energy, and resources. I have other things to do with my day than get onto NASCAR discussion boards or high-fashion blogs to tell the enthusiasts what troglodytes they are.
Comment by H. Houlahan — October 16, 2009 @ 7:44 pm
Heather, I’m going to save the “best of” pet-hater e-mail/comments and do a whole post on them!
It’ll be like John Scalzi’s book, “Your Hate Mail Will Be Graded,” just not as funny.
Comment by Gina Spadafori — October 17, 2009 @ 8:44 am
I heartedly approve of your upcoming post on the “best of” pet-hater e-mail/comments, Gina.
It might be very stimulating, to say the least.
I grew up with dogs and cats, and for that I am thankful. However, some did not have those wonderful experiences. That might be part of the reason you get e-mails from “nasties”.
Comment by Colorado Transplant — October 17, 2009 @ 9:07 am
That’s another thing I love about my job as a pet-sitter. The people that I meet are pet lovers and we have an instant connection. Yes, I have customers who are demanding and difficult and so on but overall, I know that my clientele is friendlier and more easy-going than the clientele of a different type of service provider.
Comment by Amy Suggars — October 17, 2009 @ 11:26 am