Snark of the day: Stripper names and responsible horse care
By Gina Spadafori
May 27, 2009
From Fugly:
Have you ever noticed that almost any situation where a girl who has the same name as a “Flavor of Love” contestant owns horses, it’s a train wreck? I’m sure there are exceptions but for the most part, girls named Brandi, Tiffany, Britney and other stripper names tend to be 20 year old backyard breeders with hideous stallions, pink cordura tack and boyfriends with felonies. You can see their pictures all over their Myspaces. Somebody should really start a blog just about Cowgirl Skanks. They would never run out of material!
Made me laugh. But then, my brother the high school teacher has long wondered what people are thinking when they name their children. Seriously, can you see a President Brandi? Supreme Court justice Britney? And in the sauce for the goose/good for the gander department, what are people thinking when they name their boy childs after soap opera characters, such a Colt? Well?
LOL…. I sympathize with your brother. I love the line from Talladega nights where he introduces his sons, “This is my son, Walker, this is my other son, Texas Ranger.” Too often I see names like that in real life. A student named Harley Davidson comes to mind.
Comment by Verde — May 27, 2009 @ 11:28 am
well, by the time those Brittneys are old enough to be President, they’ll think Gina is a funny name!
When I was growing up a LOOOOOOOOOONG time ago, Emily was a funny name (people teased me as “Emily Tip Top” which tells some of you how old I am! LOL) . I still have a hard time not reacting when I hear some one shouting “Emily STOP THAT” even though it’s always just some mom yelling at her kid.
Comment by EmilyS — May 27, 2009 @ 11:53 am
So true … after all, not a lot of Irenes or Olgas (my grandmothers’ names). Although my grandfathers’ names, Pete and Dale, have held up well over time.
Comment by Gina Spadafori — May 27, 2009 @ 12:20 pm
I’m seriously uncomfortable with this — no, frankly, I’m insulted and dismayed by this. I’ve got a real first name — Stacy — that’s every bit as much a ‘stripper’ name as any of those mentioned, and yet, somehow, I’ve never been or even considered being a stripper or any other sort of sex worker, I’m neither a skank nor a fool, and I take excellent care of my pets.
Seriously, folks. Way not to go.
Comment by Eucritta — May 27, 2009 @ 12:24 pm
Speaking as a person who grew up with a funny last name — usually mashed as “Spat-on-a-flor-ee — I can’t say I get worked up about anything name-related.
But clearly, your mileage may vary. Noted.
Comment by Gina Spadafori — May 27, 2009 @ 12:35 pm
What? People named Tiffany tend to be in their 20s? Who would have guessed. Next you’ll be telling me people named Shirley tend to be in their 70s.
(sorry, I could not resist)
It is a shame girls names are so trendy. I feel hopelessly tied to the 90s, and live in fear of having to name a girl, because every time I think ‘oh, that’s a neat name’ I realize half the children I know are named ‘Emma’ or something like that and it must be destined to become the Britney of the aughts.
Comment by puppynerd — May 27, 2009 @ 12:39 pm
but, eucritta, everyhing is in the name - entire registries devoted to names. speaking of easy snark targets; how about attack-bloggers with limited vocabulary and lousy grammatical sense?
Comment by eli — May 27, 2009 @ 12:40 pm
Stacy is a stripper name? Its the name of the local bookstore.
“Crystal” is one thing, but the misspellings like “Krystylle” or “K’ristal” is a portal to limited career options for young ladies. However, given their linear family trees, counting the pole as the tool of the trade is probably the most viable career option.
Advice to hillbillies is to use a dictionary to spell those names and avoid apostophes and the letters “y” and “k” at all costs. Unless you’re Welsh, please spay or neuter your letter “l” before it multiplies.
Comment by Herself — May 27, 2009 @ 12:45 pm
Four Jennifers in my class for years. Not so common now. Being Jewish the family has lots of Ruths, Sarahs etc… The boys names are family names, Robert, Samuel and Nathan. As there are 5 times more boys in my husband’s and my families than girls (not a lie, boys everywhere, girls like a blue moon for 4 generations paternally on both sides) finding good family boys names that had not been snatched up was a bit of a trick, as not all traditional jewish names roll of the toungue.
I have been told that the boys names are “dull”. Viva la dull!
Jennifer was my grandmothers name. My parents had three boys (surprise, not) then 10 years later got a shepherd pup they named Jennifer. two years later my mom found herself pregnant with a girl so the dog was renamed and I got Jennifer.
And my parents wonder why I have an affinity to dogs….
Comment by JenniferJ — May 27, 2009 @ 12:45 pm
All the men in my immediate family and my dad’s side of the family are named Joseph, Peter or Anthony.
Year after year after year.
Girls’ names ARE trendier. What’s up with that?
And while we’re talking about it: Have you noticed there are some “people” names that you would give a dog — Sam and Molly come to mind — while others you never would? Cat names are much more wide-ranging, perhaps because you don’t have to yell it at the dog park.
When I was in high school, one of the neighbors had a dog named “Gina.” First, last and only canine “Gina” I’ve ever met.
Comment by Gina Spadafori — May 27, 2009 @ 12:51 pm
By tradition, my name goes back to my maternal grandmother. I am SOOOOOO grateful that my Grandmother refused to let my mom give me Grandma’s first name, Gladys. I received her middle name instead.
Comment by Verde — May 27, 2009 @ 1:07 pm
I was amused the other day to hear a woman addressing her two children by what sounded like dog names: Cody and Dakota (yes, yes, I know they’re also trendy kid names, but still…) Of course, I was at dinner in Laguna a couple of weeks ago with two friends and our preppy dogs: Harper, Henry and Elliott.
Comment by Kim Thornton — May 27, 2009 @ 1:40 pm
The names you all are bandying about aren’t nearly as extreme as those that some of Hollywood denizens give their offspring. Examples: Pilot Inspektor (Jason Lee’s unfortunate son) and Apple (the equally unfortunate daughter of Gwyneth Paltrow). Bet they’d take a stripper’s name or some unusual spelling variation of such a name any day.
Comment by Susan — May 27, 2009 @ 1:49 pm
I’ve met more dogs named Sheyna than people. Several dogs, 1 person.
My middle name is Lacey, I always joked my parents named me for a career as a stripper.
But there have been studies on the significance of names and people’s responses to them, just think of all the research that goes into branding…And there are plenty of exceptions to the rule. I can’t think of any but I’m sure there are plenty of judges, doctors and business women named Misty, Crystal and Rainn, or whatever.
Comment by Sheyna — May 27, 2009 @ 2:37 pm
I’m thinking about giving all the peeps (the female ones at least) stripper names. I mean SRSLY - they live to ovulate. It doesn’t get any sexier than that.
*If* that suspicious looking Buff Orp is a rooster I might just call him Joe Bock - The Sunrise Cowboy.
Comment by Janeen — May 27, 2009 @ 3:58 pm
So absolutely awful - people who’ve named a cat ‘Slut’ and others who’ve named a puppy ‘Choaz’ as in “get choaz ova here” - I can’t deal with people who think that’s clever. ‘Makes even the most irregularly spelled human name seem normal.
Comment by KateH — May 27, 2009 @ 7:10 pm
My ex and his family had a cat when he was a kid. I guess it was one of those cats who showed up and stayed. Since they often got mail that wasn’t addressed to any of them, they figured it had to be for the cat, whose name was therefore…..Occupant.
Comment by Susan Fox — May 27, 2009 @ 7:28 pm
Having been gifted with both an odd first name and a German variant of a common last name (it’s pronounced the same way, but spelled differently, and nobody ever seems to get it right)… there will be no ‘creative’ names for my progeny.
Being a shy, awkward, stylistically-impaired sort of kid to begin with, having a weird name on top of it was just.. not cool. I would have killed to go by Britney, Stacy, or even Resident Classroom Jennifer #6, haha.
This is also why I decline to post under my given name online (I notice frequent requests for ‘real names’).. I’m the only one of me, and thus quite searchable. I certainly wouldn’t want to be forever tied to the stuff I was posting at thirteen.. have to assume that one day this may also ring true for some of the stuff I’m posting today. ;)
Comment by 3FabulousFelines — May 27, 2009 @ 7:43 pm
Here in Texas we have a lot of creative boys name, actually. Some are okay and some are awful. When I was student teaching I had a student named Stallion Hickey.
Comment by Eliblu — May 28, 2009 @ 9:03 am