We’re not kidding: Sunday is National Pet Parents Day!
By Gina Spadafori
April 23, 2009
And right after our discussion, too!
Yes, I used to be among the grumblers over people using the word “parent” to describe their relationship to a pet, and I grumbled even more when people referred to their pets as their “children.” When editing pet-care articles, I would change the word whenever I found it. Mostly, to “owner.”
But at the same time, I years ago won an argument with our newspaper syndicator over the use of the word “it” to refer to a pet. As Dr. Narda Robinson noted in a post yesterday, pets aren’t inanimate objects that feel no pain or emotion. To me, using the word “it” in reference to them put them in the same class as a chair, car or iPhone. And that just didn’t sit well with me.
So, in every newspaper column I’ve ever written — and most of the books as well — pets have been “he” and “she.” That just seemed right to me.
But then I noticed a funny thing: I refer to my pets — at least the dogs and the cats — as my kids. And I am still able to train and maintain them in ways that acknowledge that we are all special and different species, with special and different needs.
Yes, I know … there are a lot issues we thrashed out yesterday. But at the end of the say I still find myself saying, “Is Mom late with your dinner? Sorry! Bad Mom! You should find another, poor thing!”
If you’re among those who are unabashedly Pet Parents (or have friends who are), you’ll want to send an e-card, of course. Our sponsor VPI Pet Insurance has teamed with catalog retailer Drs. Foster and Smith to put together a free site to choose and send cards. You can even do so today and stage it to go out Sunday.
Oh go on. Be like me and untighten the undies a bit. Have a little fun, dog-Mommy and cat-Daddy! The e-cards are pretty darn cute.
My dogs got a get-well card from their “great aunt” (human) today. I have to admit that it was appreciated.
Comment by Janet Boss — April 23, 2009 @ 6:30 am
I think for the most part, we’re all coming from approximately the same place.
Referring to our pets as anything that implies their status as mere property is inadequate.
Those who use their pets as child substitutes (and as such, TREAT them as children, regardless of their actual species) are doing a disservice to their pets.
Legal definitions that affect our ability to defend our pets, our pets’ rights and our rights as “pet owners” are a negative, no matter how much warmer they may be, and how much you detest the word “owner.”
In my experience, the objection to the term “pet parent” is an objection to the image that goes with it - the cooing owner, failing to set limits, train their pet properly, treat them like the animals they truly are, accept their animal natures and thereby negatively affecting their psychological wellbeing.
But, like you, I’m still the mommy. Maybe I have less of an issue with it because my image of “mother” is that of authority as well as of loving provider.
All in all, thanks for the link - and thanks to the sponsors! I, for one, will be taking advantage. :O)
Comment by Kim — April 23, 2009 @ 6:33 am
Kim … thanks for the excellent summation. I DO think that’s where most of us are. We understand the legal issues, know how powerful the language is — and yet still talk sweetly to our “furkids” when no one is around.
:)
Comment by Gina Spadafori — April 23, 2009 @ 6:49 am
Errrr … who has proclaimed this holy-day, and what are they selling?
Comment by H. Houlahan — April 23, 2009 @ 7:11 am
I was happy to find out that AP style says to refer to animals as a he or she unless the gender has not been established or you don’t know their name.
Still leaves room for an it though, but less awkward than “he or she”
Comment by Sheyna — April 23, 2009 @ 7:14 am
It’s in the post: VPI and Fosters and Smith. The e-cards are free. And it’s pretty easy to figure out what they’re selling: Pet health insurance and pet supplies.
As I said, untighten the undies a little.
Comment by Gina Spadafori — April 23, 2009 @ 7:16 am
I was happy to find out that AP style says to refer to animals as a he or she unless the gender has not been established or you don’t know their name.
Still leaves room for an it though, but less awkward than “he or she”
Comment by Sheyna — April 23, 2009
One of the horse-racing announcers on ESPN, Kenny Mayne, INSISTS on referring to horses as “it.” This is utterly ridiculous, since the gender of a racehorse is listed in the program, and because much of the value of a racehorse has everything to do with his status as a “not it.” But Mayne is so bad in other ways I hit “mute” when he’s talking now.
Comment by Gina Spadafori — April 23, 2009 @ 7:20 am
I’m with Gina on this. Calling myself a cat Mom doesn’t mean I dress them up or expect them not to act like cats. It means that I care about them as individuals - they are not disposable or replaceable like furniture. And to me Mom (or Guardian, or Owner) means that I take responsibility for their well being for their entire lives.
Comment by 2CatMom — April 23, 2009 @ 9:09 am
I would rather be called a Mom because of my dogs than I would because of a two legged creature. (spoken like someone with 3 dogs and no kids)
Comment by Jill — April 23, 2009 @ 10:38 am
Jill … does you mother known her four-legged grandkids are the only ones she’s getting? :)
Comment by Gina Spadafori — April 23, 2009 @ 10:45 am
She has 6 grandkids from my two brothers, so my sister and I are free to have dogs for children. And, my mom is very happy with her grand dogs and puppysits them when I am out of town, spoiling them rotten. My parents have no dogs, but still have a counter full of dog treats. :-)
Comment by Jill — April 23, 2009 @ 12:33 pm
Jill, that sounds like my mom…who although she claims she’s “not a dog person,” makes Kasey soy-butter toast in the mornings when she dogs sits, and has to buy him a stuffie every time she sees one.
Comment by Original Lori — April 23, 2009 @ 12:44 pm
Must say I’m with Gina, Kim and 2CatMom on this issue. I do have human children and clearly know the difference. I’d never teach my human kids to sit on a stool, put a treat on their nose and have them flip it into their mouths on command…real kids learn this on their own…but the Mini Schnauzer…well, I had to teach him. ;) He seemed to want to entertain and would get very silly. Tell me again how they’re not like humans. He also wore a red peppermint striped sweater in winter for warmth. The two Bouviers and Mini Schnauzer patiently donned their matching yellow slickers because they seemed to make the connection that they would not get cold or soaked through on long walks in the rain. And, yes, the sight was amusing to people in passing cars who would smile and wave to us, but that was not my intent. When they were little, my two boys would dress the dogs up in all sorts of get-ups and giggle to beat the band. They’d also dress up the rabbits and guinea pig and sit them in their toy fire engines and airplanes. Then they’d put themselves in ridiculous costumes for fun too. I just always saw it as rampant creativity.
Always, to differentiate my role as pet parent versus human child parent, I referred to myself when speaking to or about our dogs as their “Mama” instead of “Mom” or “Mommy,” which is what the boys called me. When my boys were growing up I never referred to the dogs as my boy or girl. Since there are no human kids in the house today, I confess that I now do. Truth be told, I have an enormous Mama’s Boy living with me (a little separation anxiety going on - the result of living in a backyard, not allowed in the house, for three years prior to coming to live with us). I do not dress up my current two dogs and cat, although some days they should be wearing t-shirts that say “Talk to the Hand.” ;O) Regarding my position as a mother of young boys back then, and of dogs then and now, I am the loving authority who has provided the finest care available, all in the interest of their well-being. Must have worked. They all keep coming home! ;)
Comment by Nadine L. — April 23, 2009 @ 12:47 pm
This Sunday I wish you, McKenzie, Happy Pet Parent Day! You have done a wonderful job with your pups so far.
Since the animals and the humans are all mammals, we all deserve to celebrate, I say!!!!!!!!!!!
Comment by Colorado Transplant — April 24, 2009 @ 6:59 am
MCKenzie says she absolutely can’t wait until her kids are out of the house and sending her cards. And she has six more weeks of parenting to go!
Comment by Gina Spadafori — April 24, 2009 @ 7:04 am
Sounds like McKenzie needs a rest from all that “neediness” from her kids, I mean pups.
Comment by Colorado Transplant — April 24, 2009 @ 8:27 am