Comments on: On love, loss, grief and a life’s work

By: Dorene

Dorene — Wed, 06 May 2009 01:39:11 +0000

Jeanne—

So sorry for your loss. When the Queen of the Universe passed (a Persian, what else? ;-)) at 17, I’d had her my entire adult life. I couldn’t imagine what life would be like without her — she had always been there, always with me wherever I was in the house and I don’t think there has been anyone else in my entire life who loved me so much (while I have my share of nutty family, I actually have a few good ones, too, but even they didn’t care about me as much as she did). For awhile, even with the support of others, I was completely lost.

All I can say is that feeling lost is completely normal. I’m so sorry it hurts.

By: Anne T

Anne T — Tue, 05 May 2009 23:10:22 +0000

Oh Jeanne, I am so very, very sorry! You are in my thoughts and prayers. I am struggling with a much loved cat who has Feline Chronic Renal Failure, and the the sands through the hourglass are running down. So I sincerely sympathize, and wish I could stop your hurting and make your grief turn to loved remembrance of all the days, weeks, years you and your dog shared together.

By: Gina Spadafori

Gina Spadafori — Tue, 05 May 2009 22:56:33 +0000

Jeanne, I’m so sorry. Did you know that PetHobbyist.com has a chat room open at 9 p.m. ET 365 days a year for pet loss support?

They’re not affiliated with us, other than that Christie works for them, too. (And I know lots of the staff there … great people.)

By: The OTHER Pat

The OTHER Pat — Tue, 05 May 2009 22:43:31 +0000

I’m so sorry Jeanne. Please know you are in my thoughts.

By: Jeanne Jasperse

Jeanne Jasperse — Tue, 05 May 2009 20:48:49 +0000

My dog died an hour ago…I’d had her for ten years….When I became divorced..I didn’t ask for the house, or the cars, or any money….I just took what clothes I had, a computer, and my dog, Cleo.I can’t even begin to imagine what life will be without her..my baby girl.

By: Dana Durrance

Dana Durrance — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 15:37:38 +0000

This difficult, yet beautiful discussion about our loved ones is exactly why death and the grief process are so puzzling. We celebrate the fact that the loved one was in our life, but we also hurt tremendously in knowing we must move forward without that loved one.

In my many years as a pet loss grief counselor, I’ve heard many people ask, “Why can’t I enjoy the love without enduring the pain of the grief?” Why indeed, for that’s the crux of the issue. It seems that love and loss are a package deal and there’s no way around it.

I personally feel that our society is getting better about supporting grievers. We’ve come a long way and are letting people honor their grief much more openly. This is key if we are to truly accept our losses and find ways to move forward.

By: Colorado Transplant

Colorado Transplant — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 11:52:23 +0000

My Batman was an abandoned stray that I took into my home and loved for almost 16 yrs until he died about l 1/2 mos. ago. It has been breaking my heart just to think about him.

I also have tears in my eyes thinking about Brandy that died less than a year ago. Both cats that I miss so much.

I told the vet several times that I would not get any more, that they were the last.
I couldn’t stand any more losses.

Well, 5 days after Brandy passed away, I got Inca and a couple of weeks after that I got Sophie. I cannot get anymore right now, so I shall just have to sob when I think of Batman.

I talk to all cats I meet and I am glad to meet as many as I can, ‘cause I just love those furry felines.

By: Theresa Murphy

Theresa Murphy — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 00:14:27 +0000

I am sitting here with tears streaming down my face after reading this. In our house, it is cats that have taken over our hearts. We lost one very special girl in January. I brought her home at 4 weeks old, after the mama cat abandoned the litter, and spoon fed her with wet food and kitten formula. It was touch and go for about a week as to whether she would susrvive or not. But survive, and thrive, she did on lots of love and attention. After almost 17 years with us, it was her time to go and our time to say a very hard good-bye. Liz, you have most certainly helped me. I now understand that our grief is the last expression of our love for her. Thanks for such a touching story.

By: Tammy

Tammy — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 22:35:58 +0000

Beautiful words Liz.

In losing pets before, I have said “I don’t want another pet because losing them is too hard.” However, I always get another pet.

My husband was very reluctant to have pets also because of the fear of losing them. He now knows that losing them will be very difficult, no doubt, but having them for the time we do makes the loss worth it.

By: Nancy Freedman-Smith CPDT

Nancy Freedman-Smith CPDT — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 22:22:12 +0000

That was beautiful Liz. I have a once very sick and now on the mend foster puppy here right now on “wait and see.”I sure hope he won’t be teaching my kids about loss. (again)