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Alaska: Where the bears mooch and the women shoot ‘em
By Gina Spadafori
December 17, 2008
I’m so loving the “Vet On The Edge” blog:
When she first moved to AK – well before the girls were even thought of – S was a new graduate, struggling to make ends meet. She had student debt, and had not been working long enough to have much of a bumper. She remembers one time spending literally the last of her money for the month on a 40# bag of dog food. It was going to have to last her the rest of the month; there simply wasn’t enough to stretch her budget any further, but with luck she’d be able just squeak through with what she had – so long as nothing went wrong.
You know something went wrong, don’t you?
That night, after a long day at work and doing chores and worrying about finances, S finally retires in the long summer twilight. Late in the night (or early in the morning, whichever) the dogs suddenly start going mad, barking and carrying on. She gets up and looks out the window.
Oh, son of a bitch. There’s a black bear standing in the bed of her pickup truck, eating her last $20 in the world, in the form of the bag of dog food. Worse, this is a problem bear: any bear that takes food from human habitation is a hazard, dangerous to the livestock and pets and humans that live there and in nearby homes. Typically, unless you relocate them many many hundreds of miles away, they just migrate back to their neighborhood and resume being a problem; as a result, most such bears must be destroyed.
S jams on her boots and grabs her gun, loading it hastily. She runs outside, draws a bead and shoots the bear, dropping it in the truck bed. Right about then, as the report of the gun is fading from her ears, she thinks: Maybe I should go inside and put some clothes on.
Put some clothes on?!? I am thinking.
Because, after all, S tells me, butchering out a bear at one in the morning is all very, well but the mosquitoes are going to have a field day if you don’t get dressed.
About here I give her a sidelong glance. “You went outside, completely naked, to shoot a bear?”
“I was wearing boots,” S denies, faintly defensive. “Besides,” she says, “I had to hurry, if I was going to get my dog food back.”
“Get it back?” I demand, goggling slightly. She can’t mean….
Oh but she did. And here’s the rest.
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That blog is a great find!
Comment by Selma — December 17, 2008 @ 11:13 am
Great story! I have to laugh because mosquitoes do not like the taste of me. I’d be better of slaughtering naked and just rinsing off afterward, lol!~ {grin} Depending on how much (or how big the stomach is!), couldn’t she just feed the whole thing, kibble and all?
Comment by straybaby — December 17, 2008 @ 4:54 pm
From what I’ve read, bear flesh ain’t all that tasty! However, given a choice of eating bear or not eating, than doesn’t need a Mensa member to determine the answer.
As for drying out the kibble, what a smart idea! And as for shooting the bear bare, she did put on boots. Good foot gear is critical, because a foot injury can lay you up for weeks/months.
I love stories about practical women with a good grounding in reality!
Comment by Anne T — December 17, 2008 @ 5:13 pm