A tale of old dogs and veterinary friendships
By Gina Spadafori
October 13, 2008
When Ben was dying a few years ago, I knew my veterinarians well. And why not? I saw them all the time.
The primary-care veterinarian who coordinated all the care. The surgeon who tried a last-ditch effort to buy some time from the cancer that was killing my dog. The integrative care veterinarian who was helping to keep him functioning with acupuncture, water therapy and herbs.
Together, we bought Ben an extra nine months of high-quality time, and when my old guy no longer had a life of comfort, we all said good-bye.
Sympathy cards and thank-you notes were exchanged, and life went on. It was a familiar cycle, one I’d been through with Andy before Ben, and others before Andy.
I continued to see our primary care veterinarian for all that important preventive medicine, but everyone was healthy — not that I’m complaining, mind you! — so the visits were short, with no drama or emotion. The surgeon pulled Heather’s spleen three years ago after we saw a tumor on the ultrasound, but even that wasn’t much of a deal: The report came back benign, Heather healed quickly and that was that.
My primary care veterinarian’s oldest graduated from college, my surgeon retired half-way and my integrative care veterinarian started doing more teaching than practicing. And I didn’t know much if any of this, since I wasn’t around, didn’t need to be around, what with all the pets being relatively young and healthy.
So why do I know all this now? Because I have old dogs again.
Isn’t it remarkable how close you become to your veterinarians when your pet has a health crisis or you’re managing the eventual decline of old age and then saying good-bye? And then, you don’t see them as much, these wonderful people (and their staff!) who took your phone calls, answered your questions, shared your tears?
Until the cycle starts again, that is.
In the last couple of months, I have talked to our primary-care veterinarian on his cell phone (he was at a wedding reception), and resumed my first-name relationship with his lead tech, and with the practice radiologist and internist. And mostly, I’ve picked up again with the integrative-care veterinarian, again meeting for lunch and hearing about her life.
I expect the relationships to get more intense as Heather declines, and then to ease off again after she passes — a not imminent prospect, thank heavens — until the next time, as we all resume our busy professional and personal lives.
These people I adore, and they have been with me for so long and through so much. Why is it that we can’t or choose not to maintain our close connection between crises? Is it just too much for us all?
Image: Heather and Ben, Aligator Point, Fla., February 2001
With one healthy cat, one cat with CRF (for a year now, holding steady) and a dog who died last month following a stroke, this post is all too familiar.
My primary care veterinarian moved on and opened a brand new emergency clinic less than two weeks before my dog died (he took care of her in her last days, at the new clinic).
Just the other day I was thinking about this- about how close one gets to these kind people in all those hours of nursing a sick pet (last year, when CRF cat crashed, and now with my dog). Now that he is only doing emergency care, does it mean that we will not keep in touch until the next crisis? Should I keep in touch without a crisis looming?
Comment by Xslf — October 13, 2008 @ 9:57 am
I have several dogs—and, like you, Gina—several vets, each of them specializing in different aspects of veterinary medicine. The one who means the most to me, however, always has been a close friend. It was Michelle who rushed home from an out-of-town visit with family to come to my house at 10 p.m. to euthanize my puppy (who was in liver failure) amidst familiar surroundings. It is no wonder, is it, that later this week we will drive 4 1/2 hours each way with four dogs in tow for semi-annual wellness checks with Dr. Michelle. This gifted vet and faithful friend is worth her weight in gold.
Comment by Lisa — October 13, 2008 @ 10:18 am