Alibar’s last day: A love story
By Gina Spadafori
September 10, 2008
Yesterday I saw that my friend Sarah Andrew had posted a black square in the place where she usually puts her latest horse pictures, and I knew in a heartbeat what it meant.
Time had caught up with Alibar.
Then I checked my e-mail, and there was a note from Sarah. Alibar, who’ll be 30 in a few months, had gone off his feed and was having some difficulty breathing. His veterinarian came to check him out and didn’t like the early indications, so Alibar was trailered to Mid Atlantic Equine. After tests there, he was diagnosed with cancer. But with all the fluid drained from his lungs, he certainly wasn’t acting like a hospice case. Sarah writes:
Alibar was his usual charming self at the clinic and the vet staff was marvelling at his shiny coat, condition, and bright expression. When he stepped off the trailer at the clinic, his head was raised, ears pricked, and there was a little arch in his neck as if he was looking for the jumper show. He is still his normal self, which is sad to see but comforting in some strange way.
Sarah took him home, and scheduled his death for today, to give them one last day together. She wrote me this morning, about a day surrounded by all his friends (human and equine) and all his favorite foods eaten to the point of concern were it not for the fact that there’s no reason for concern, now. Molasses bars and powdered doughnuts, and all the green grass he could eat. Enjoy it all, Alibar!
At this point I have to back up a little. I’ve never met Sarah in person, and now, sadly, I’ll never give darling old Alibar a scritch and a powdered doughnut. I first noticed her through Flickr, and quickly became a fan, in awe of her talent as an equine photographer, her ability to combine technical skills with a horse-lover’s appreciation of her chosen subject. And then as I looked at more of her pictures, and read the stories that went with them, I fell in love with Alibar, her equine muse since she first met him almost two decades ago, when he was a mature horse of 10 and she a young girl, 11.
Alibar turned Sarah from a typical horse-loving suburban pre-teen with dreams of her own pony into a professional equine photographer. He changed the course of her life.
When HCI publisher Peter Vegso asked us to write the first three books in their new “The Ultimate” series, I knew two things for certain: First, that I wanted Sarah’s pictures in the books; and second, that I wanted Sarah to tell her story in “The Ultimate Horse Lover” about her lifetime with Alibar.
Both these things came to pass, and “The Ultimate Horse-Lover” is on the presses at HCI now, rolling towards its Nov. 1 release date. Yesterday, when I learned about Alibar, I asked our editors at HCI if we could share Sarah’s story from the book, and they agreed. Here’s the beginning:
Alibar is twenty-nine and I am thirty. We have been together most of our lives, and although my life has changed much since we met, he has always been Alibar, my sidekick and friend.
And here are the pages from “The Ultimate Horse-Lover,” with the entire story. I am so grateful to Teri and Allison for taking time out of their deadline-slammed schedules to pull these pages from the book, and to Peter Vegso for giving us permission to use them in advance of the book’s publication date. Grateful, but not surprised: They are all animal-lovers at HCI, and they understand.
Sarah has a slideshow of Alibar’s life, from his first days on earth to their first days together to pictures taken just a few days ago. Here’s the link to that slideshow, and here’s the site for Sarah’s photography, which is truly gorgeous, gorgeous stuff.
Sarah wrote me this morning that although she knew this day would come, she is comforted that Alibar is in no pain and will be in no pain. Sarah will be there at the end, of course, along with her mother, her husband, Alibar’s veterinarians, his co-owner and Diane, the family friend who bought Alibar as a weanling and gave him to Sarah a decade later.
He will leave as he arrived, surrounded by people who love him. And he will leave having changed and touched more lives than it is in a horse’s ability to understand.
(Image: Alibar, taken last week by Sarah K. Andrew. Used with permission, all rights reserved.)
There’s a message in the life of every animal. Every one, no matter how big, small, thin, fat, happy or cranky - every single one loves just to love.
My sadness over Alibar’s story is tempered with the knowledge that he shared Sarah’s life for so long. Prayers go out to her and all who love this horse.
I was diagnosed with breast cancer just a month ago. There’s nothing more terrifying. But it causes you to rally your soul and find that courage. Sarah’s done that. Alibar had done it too. It’s a lesson for me.
Comment by Sharon H — September 10, 2008 @ 8:22 am
Oh Sharon, I’m so sorry. It IS damn scary. I will hope for you the courage and faith to fight and to win, and I know you will learn from the battles ahead.
Comment by Gina Spadafori — September 10, 2008 @ 8:36 am
Sarah: thinking about you. He changed your life. That fact will always be yours together.
Sharon: Thinking about you too. Fight on!
Comment by Lori — September 10, 2008 @ 10:10 am
Gina,
Oh your tribute to him made me cry! I also fell in love with Alibar through the wonderful pictures and stories of Sarah’s. I do hope she finds comfort in the fact that she gave him a wonderful and long life, and not many horses have that. She did wonderfully with him and she should be really proud. It’s so sad that he’ll be leaving, but she’s doing the right thing. I’ll miss the stories and pictures. Thanks for writing this. Wonderful work.
Comment by Melissa — September 10, 2008 @ 10:43 am
I’m just sitting here crying. Alibar has been practically a legend, and legends aren’t supposed to die.
Sarah - please know you are in my thoughts today. He couldn’t have found anyone better to share his life with.
Comment by The OTHER Pat — September 10, 2008 @ 11:18 am
Gina-Thanks for posting that truly touching story and amazing excerpt from your new book. My heart and prayers go out to Sarah who got to spend much of her life with such a beloved and loyal friend.
Comment by Jillian K — September 10, 2008 @ 11:43 am
Gina your words made me cry. How sad for everyone
involved with Alibar. God speed, dear one.
Comment by VJ — September 10, 2008 @ 12:11 pm
Thanks for the cry. I think it is amazing that animals can change the direction of our lives. In case you haven’t seen it yet, check out Susan Garret’s video on You tube The Journey.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfXGD4hP1Ro
Comment by nancy freedman-smith — September 10, 2008 @ 4:44 pm
Gina-thank you for your tribute to Alibar and Sarah, and also for the link to their story.
I am 44 and my horse Jonathan is 31, we have been together since I was 15 and he was 3—28 years. While he is still in relatively good health, the Minnesota winters are hard on him, and every year about this time we have to assess his condition and decide if it’s fair to put him through another one.
He too helped shape the course of my life—I am still close with my Pony Club friends, I spent many years as a professional show horse groom, and through horse shows I was first introduced to Jack Russell Terriers, which now consume my life(!). The time we’ve been together spans so many periods of my life-high school, college, different careers, relationships, 7 dogs, “middle age”. I will be bringing him carrots AND apples tomorrow in memory of Alibar. Thinking of you, Sarah.
Comment by Kristen — September 10, 2008 @ 7:10 pm
Many tears are being shed today for Alibar. What an exquisite bond theirs was. My heart goes out to Sarah.
Comment by Nadine L. — September 10, 2008 @ 7:37 pm
What an amazing story. Thank you for sharing. Though I think it needs a tissue alert in the beginning.
Comment by Marie — September 11, 2008 @ 5:15 am
It is amazing how an animal can utterly change the course of one’s life. God’s speed Alibar.
The last horse from my childhood past away a little over a year ago. Fortunately when my family was no longer able to keep him he found a good home where he spent his last two decades. I expect we will have horses again someday, but not until I am comfortable that we will be able to keep them (barring unforeseen disaster)for life.
Comment by JenniferJ — September 11, 2008 @ 8:43 am
Hi, Gina
Hope you are well..Read Sarah’s tribute to Alibar on ABR, and sobbed. It was so beautiful. So is yours. Having loved and been fortunate enough to be loved by horses pretty much my whole life, I understand how deep and unabiding is that connection. And how deep and searing is that loss.
Thanks for the reminder that I MUST get Dr. Becker’s book. I miss talking to you. Monte sends his best.
Love, Cheryl
(Your former loyal PCF purrson:))
Cheryl Jones
Lakewood CO
Comment by Cheryl Jones — September 12, 2008 @ 11:33 am
Wow, Cheryl … long time, huh? Great to hear from you, and hope all is well. Best back to Monte. I have cats now, too, ya know!
Comment by Gina Spadafori — September 12, 2008 @ 2:12 pm