Do you like this story?
Are readers of the New York Times clueless about pets? Or are their writers?
By Gina Spadafori
December 14, 2007
Last week there was the article by the common-sense challenged writer who couldn’t see his way clear to working on the house-training of his 4-year-old toy spaniel. Now, the top e-mailed story on the NYT Web site is about people who insist on bringing uninvited pets to family holiday gatherings.
Um … duh.
I don’t even bring pets to family gatherings in my own home. My mother is increasingly unsteady on her feet, and I am not about to be responsible for her breaking a hip because one of the bouncy young dogs cuts a corner on the way out the door. For Christmas dinner, the young dogs will chill out in crates with nice chewies to keep them busy.
As for going to other peoples’ homes, my rule: Drew, my perfectly mannered and immaculately groomed mature Sheltie, is the one who goes visiting. And that’s only when he’s invited, which he often is. (Drew has legions of fans.) In her dotage, my 11-year-old retriever Heather sometimes goes instead, but that’s just because age has mellowed her.
Drew, however, was born polite. The same cannot be said for the rest of my pack, who need constant reminders to mind their manners. Rather like pre-schoolers, I find. They generally know what’s expected of them but often forget.
But apparently the pet-crazed interviewed by the NYT don’t exhibit quite as much common sense or consideration:
Difficult guests are no longer limited to humans. The boundaries between humans and animals have been so eaten away by pet therapists, pet designer outfits and pet bar mitzvahs, that it has reached a point where devoted owners, who treat their animals as privileged children, lose all perspective on the pet’s role in their social lives.
Go on, read the rest. And by the way, this “trend piece” isn’t covering anything new at all. Throughout my entire career as a pet-care columnist — 23 years and counting — I have had to listen to people who don’t like pets complain about the liberties taken by people who do. Sometimes the pet-haters are unreasonable cranks, but sometimes, they have a legitimate point (and are still cranks. heh).
I don’t foist my pets on anyone. Seems like common courtesy to me not to, as I’ve said, and believe me there’s no one on God’s green earth who more considers my pets as family than I do. And for those friends who are allergic … well, we just meet for dinner at a restaurant. Believe me, considering how bad a cook I am, they’re the lucky ones.
***
As an aside, the NYT reporter interviewed Claudia Kawczynska, editor of The Bark magazine. The Bark is my favorite canine publication, paws down. If you’re still struggling for a gift for the highly literate, intelligent dog-lover on your list … click here.
Share & Enjoy
|
Facebook
|
Twitter
|
Google Buzz
|
Digg
|
|
Technorati
|
StumbleUpon
|
Delicious
|
Email
|
Home
My Papillon is a required attendee at the Thanksgiving and Christmas celebrations I attend each year. He, too, was “born polite” (not to mention cute) and so is a good houseguest. (In fact, one time I hadn’t had time to bathe him, and so left him home. I was informed that the next time I showed up without him, I’d be sent back home to get him! LOL!)
But I agree - unless specifically invited - he stays home. I just can’t assume that everyone loves (or tolerates!) animals the same way I do.
Comment by The OTHER Pat — December 14, 2007 @ 4:39 pm
Once upon a time I had a Miniature Schnauzer whose manners were impeccable. Surely everyone knew Lustig was an aristocrat, or so he thought. Walking him through the lobby of the elegant St. Francis Hotel in San Francisco where we often stayed was a kick. Head up, “smiling” at everyone as he passed by heeling off leash, all the seated hotel guests tittered and marveled at how better behaved he was than those kids on the other side of the room. Invitations were always extended to him for family gatherings. For a non-pet-friendly family, that was a miracle for sixteen years.
Side note. My envious sister complained that Lustig could walk all over Grandparents’ sofa but her kids couldn’t. ;-)
My large, very large dogs, that came after him did not enjoy the same celebrity. Of course, being four times Lustig’s size may have had something to do with this! Ya think?
Good news today. Verrrry large Keagan has been receiving invitations for visits to various places and we’ve allowed him to accept to see how he’ll do. Happy to report that he IS being invited back!
Comment by Nadine L. — December 14, 2007 @ 7:02 pm
Even the cats here say the handsome and charming Drew can visit any time!
Comment by rose — December 14, 2007 @ 7:39 pm
Regarding the NYT article - at least the writer is creating awareness that pets are pretty important to a lot of us.
Chortles was invited everywhere. In fact, there were a few times when it was hinted that if HE wasn’t able to make it, I shouldn’t feel I had to come.
Comment by Lynn — December 15, 2007 @ 1:17 am
I’m in agriculture, so I can’t afford nice furniture. (;-)) Any dog that likes Pepper is welcome in our home.
Considering that almost all of my in-laws have dogs, we never even thought not to take Pepper to family gatherings.
Outside of family, if I know the visitee likes dogs, I’ll ask if I can bring Pepper ahead of time and abide by their wishes.
I did forget once that a very good friend of mine isn’t so terribly thrilled about dogs — I had to drop off some veggies from the community garden at her house — so, of course, I had Pepper with me and we both went into the house with the veggies. However, Pepper just sat next to me the whole time (love herding dogs! ;-)) so I didn’t realize my friend was freaked until she commented when we were leaving about how good Pepper was.
However, Pepper’s Shiba Inu side doesn’t like strangers at all — if a workman is only at the house for a day or so or we’ve having a meeting with several people that Pepper hasn’t met, she goes into the crate upstairs with a nice big raw bone. Having something to chew the heck out of seems to be the key to managing doggie stress! ;-)
Comment by Dorene — December 15, 2007 @ 5:32 am
My beloved Hammer was the guest at many Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays. However, he was an invited guest, not a trespasser. I think that many people today are just completely insensitive - whether it be with pets or kids - regarding locations where they are welcome. Common sense seems to be on a permanent vacation.
Comment by Carol — December 15, 2007 @ 11:21 am
Hey, I can’t always get my cats to behave in their own home.
My cats are generally well behaved if they are getting attention. I had my annual holiday party last week and they didn’t jump on the buffet table once (despite shrimp, salmon spread, cheese, etc). They visited various guests, sat on a few laps, and generally just hung out.
However, my big boy is very bad when he does not get the attention he craves. Earlier this year I had a sit down dinner for family and he jumped on the table 11 TIMES. I was mortified. He ignored the kitty videos he usually likes and wouldn’t stop. I realized afterwards that it wasn’t the food, it was that he wasn’t part of the action.
Any future sit down dinners will feature a new addition - a catsitter. That’s right, one of my neighbors daughters help her mom take care of my cats when I’m away. And both my cats just love her. I’ll be hiring her for the evening to keep them entertained and happy so we can eat dinner in peace. Sure I could lock them in a room during dinner, but having to listen to two cats cry all evening is not my idea of an enjoyable dinner.
As for visiting others with them, I don’t think so.
Comment by 2CatMom — December 15, 2007 @ 12:19 pm
Niki our tricolor collie boy spent yesterday evening with me at the art reception for a small show that another artist and I were having. I asked the woman whose business space we were in if I could bring in my dog and she said, ok, we can try it. Within minutes he had won her over, and everyone else who came in for the next 2+ hours, with his company manners. He showed off his “sit”, “paw”, “up” and “down”. He loved all the attention -“Is that Lassie?”- and it sure made our reception stand out. And boy, did he sleep like a rock last night.
He’s also a big fan of hotel lobbies because the desk staff usually makes a big deal about him. It’s a hoot to watch him go into action as we approach the entrance with his head up, ears back, big plume of a tail waving as he prances through the door. Clearly, he knows when it’s “showtime”. If they want to pet him, he’ll get his front paws up on the counter on command. Being 75lbs./26”, reaching a counter top is no problem (but no counter surfing, ever).
But we never, ever take him into any place, private or public without asking first. If the answer is “no” then he stays in the car. He doesn’t like it, but, hey, none of us get what we want all the time.
We want him to be an ambassador for why dogs should get to go to lots of places and being a collie gives him “leg up” so to speak.
Comment by Susan Fox — December 15, 2007 @ 12:23 pm
2CatMom, you’ve reminded me of a Christmas dinner with ten people many years ago, when one of our cats was hanging around bumping people’s legs and being kind of a pest. My brother-in-law got up to go to the kitchen and the next thing we all knew, Eilonwy’s little black head had appeared just over the top of the table, as she had taken his empty seat. So, on a hunch, I got one more chair and squeezed it in at the end of the table. Jerry bumped her off his chair and darned if she didn’t go right to the empty chair and hop right up on it. She stayed there with us just sitting and watching for most of the rest of the meal. She’s gone now, but she was quite a cat.
Maybe your big boy just needed his own chair ;-)
Comment by Susan Fox — December 15, 2007 @ 12:32 pm
Susan: I actually got out my step stool which sits a bit higher than the table. That way the cats can see what’s going on without being on the table. My little one sat on it most of the dinner without a problem.
This works like charm normally. I use it when I bake or cook since this keeps the big boy off the counters. It sits in the middle of the kitchen - too far to jump onto the counter but he can get his jollies watching the hand mixer (anything with a motor is of intense interest to him. He’s the only cat I’ve known that runs toward the sound of a vacuum cleaner, electric drill, etc).
It was just one of those nights - one of those BAD KITTY nights. And he was….sigh
Comment by 2CatMom — December 15, 2007 @ 6:41 pm
Maybe he thinks they’re purring ;-) But with cats, who knows…. He does sound like an interesting guy though.
Comment by Susan Fox — December 15, 2007 @ 8:02 pm
I take Addy everywhere that I can—which means never to private homes without checking first, every time. Addy’s a sweetie with people, and a real asset if there are kids involved, but, hey, not everyone is going to appreciate her as she deserves.:)
Towards businesses, though, I’m a little bit more assertive. Not grocery stores, restaurants, or anyplace else that has legal restrictions on their ability to admit pets. Not to anyplace that has clearly posted “no pets” signs. Beyond that, though, I figure if they want my business, they should be able to cope with the presence of my little dog—as long as she is well-behaved. If she were to create any trouble or disturbance, that would be another matter entirely, and I’d remove her immediately.
Today, I found myself with a bit of a dilemma. Addy is an expected attendee at my Weight Watchers meeting, to the point that I get cross-examined if I don’t bring her. My meeting is early Saturday morning. Today I also had a hairdresser appointment at 10am—plenty of time, normally, to get Addy home and settled. But not today. Today, everything, even the simplest things, was a hassle, and took longer than it should have. I found myself about to drive by the salon on the way home to drop off Addy before coming back to the salon—and doing that was going to make me late. Really late. And I had no idea whether or not they’d be likely to let Addy in—whether there were any laws or any store rules against it. But taking Addy home was going to make me seriously late, late enough that I’d probably lose my appointment. So I decided to take the chance and see what they said. At worst, I’d be able to explain to them why I was going to be late. I just stopped at the salon, and took Addy in. No “no pets” signs posted on the door…
What they said was, “What cute little dog! What’s her name?” She was very well-behavied, and a hit with both staff and other customers.
Of course, this means that I have now become the kind of middle-aged woman who brings her fluffy little with dog to the hairdresser’s with her…
Comment by Lis — December 15, 2007 @ 9:29 pm
What I’m wondering is what Addy thought when she saw all the people getting their hair dried. Was she wondering if it was going to be her turn next?
There are worse things than being a middle-aged woman who takes her dog everywhere. Think of the smiles she’s putting on the patrons’ faces.
Comment by Lynn — December 15, 2007 @ 9:47 pm
Susan: “Interesting” is one word for him. “Out of control” are three others. I knew he was “high energy” when I adopted him around 1 1/2 years old. He’s five now and has hardly slowed down.
My building had some pipes in the walls replaced recently and he had to be locked up because he kept trying to get close to the BLOW TORCH!!!! to see what was going on.
The good news is that he is so goofy and lovable that everyone forgives his bad behavior…even my mom. She does keep threatening to take him home with her for some retraining. Now that would be interesting….who would survive that battle of wills.
Comment by 2CatMom — December 17, 2007 @ 10:02 am
So, uh, how many of his nine lives do you figure he has left at this point?
We have one cat who NEEDS to be around whenever we are doing anything to check it out, but your guy sounds like a professional in the curiosity department. A blowtorch?!
A battle of wills between a cat and a human? The human’s only chance is to do a lateral or punt (no, not the cat).
Comment by Susan Fox — December 17, 2007 @ 5:51 pm
What I’m wondering is what Addy thought when she saw all the people getting their hair dried. Was she wondering if it was going to be her turn next?
Nah, she knew she was safe, because she had her boots and her sweatshirt on. Since she’s got hair all over, she has to be naked to be groomed.:)
Comment by Lis — December 17, 2007 @ 7:28 pm
Let me guess…these are the relatives (or progeny) of the same folks who allow their small children to pillage their surroundings like baby Vikings, and then get offended when bystanders don’t find that cute.
Okay, seriously, thanks for this, Gina. I saw the article too, and wondered if I was the only one who wondered what the hell these people were thinking as they towed along their uninvited pets.
All my friends are pet people, which is precisely why they would never pull this kind of stunt. We all get that you can’t just tote your dog or cat into some other beings’ territory without repercussion - at least, most of the time…
Comment by LauraL — December 18, 2007 @ 11:29 pm