Pet Connection column: How do you know when it’s ‘time’?
By Gina Spadafori
November 10, 2007
This week’s Pet Connection column, in newspapers nationwide through Universal Press Syndicate, covers how to know when it’s time to say good-bye, pet-loss resources, head-halters vs. no-pull harnesses, keeping microchip risk in perspectve and how to keep wild things from moving in:
By Dr. Marty Becker
and Gina Spadafori
Universal Press SyndicateIt’s the question every pet lover dreads, the one for which there’s often no easy answer: “When is the right time to say goodbye?”
Choosing to end a pet’s life is the hardest decision we make when it comes to our pets, and we can tell you from decades of experience that it’s a decision that never gets any easier. Your veterinarian will offer you advice and support, and friends and family can offer you sympathy, but no one can make the decision for you. When you live with an elderly or terminally ill pet, you look in your pet’s eyes every morning and wonder if you’re doing what’s best.
Everyone makes the decision a little differently. Some pet lovers do not wait until their pet’s discomfort becomes chronic, untreatable pain, and they choose euthanasia much sooner than others would. Some owners use an animal’s appetite as the guide — when an old or ill animal cannot be tempted into eating, they reason, he has lost most interest in life. And some owners wait until there’s no doubt the time is at hand — and later wonder if they delayed a bit too long.
There’s no absolute rule, and every method for deciding is right for some pets and some owners at some times. You do the best you can, and then you try to put the decision behind you and deal with the grief.
Here’s a link to the entire column, on the Universal Press UExpress.com Web site. We’ll soon be loading a complete, searchable archives of Dr. Becker and my columns on this site, more than 10 years of us individually and together. Since we joined forces at the beginning of the year, we’ve also brought on Christie Keith, and Susan and Dr. Rolan Tripp. Other top writers will be contributing in the weeks and months to come.
And thank heavens for that, since Dr. Becker and I have three more books coming out this time next year (those will make eight together since the fall of last year! This fall’s books are so new I’ve barely had time to enjoy their being out — but we’ve already started on the next set). I love writing, I love pets and I love writing about pets, but … oh myyyyyy. That’s a lot of writing!
This article is, for me, timely and appreciated. My sixteen and a half year old cat and I are getting near the end of our time together. We take each precious day at a time and I know he will let me know when he is ready. I will not knowingly allow him to suffer.
Comment by elizabeth R — November 10, 2007 @ 11:24 am
Oh, sweetie … I’m so sorry. Give him a kiss on his soft head for me, and take care of yourself as you’re taking care of your darling cat.
Comment by Gina Spadafori — November 10, 2007 @ 11:26 am
We found a stray the other day (last Sunday). It was a Sunday morning and the cat had a head that was twice the size it should be. no nose, no left eye and she was purring. She could hear the food but she could not eat it. We knew something awful had happened to her and we knew that she needed to be put down immediately. We called around and found an emergency pet place who told us on the phone that they probably would use emergency services to keep her alive! Rather than argue with them on the phone, we took her over and they put her down immediately. I know every cat and dog in the neighborhood and I don’t know why she ended up on our porch…but I did know that prolonging her agony was wrong. I marvel that these decisions always seem to happen when regular vets are closed (Sat midnight to Monday can be a long time). I can only speculate that this cat was the victim of a Halloween prank, or perhaps she got up in an engine of a car. Our own cats are all healthy and we are vigilant to try to watch the neighborhood for animal cruelty or neglect. I only wished that I had a quicker way to end her misery. I grew up on a farm and it was always my duty to put animals down when they were not gonna make it. I no longer have the heart for this responsibility but I am glad that we had the finances that could end this cats misery last Sunday. Best wishes to all of you who are faced with this decision. It is only a little easier when it is not your own pet.
Comment by Concha Castaneda — November 10, 2007 @ 12:41 pm
This was a timely article in many ways for us. We had to have our Siamese put down on the 7th - renal failure with little prognosis beyond extending her life for us but no quality for her. It was a decision we did not expect to have to make this soon (she was only 15-3/4 years), but we were prepared to make the decision when the time came. And it is hard. Very hard. We have been in this house for over 30 years and we have had a dog, cat, and/or son present in all those years until now. Our son went off to college this August. Now the house is empty and we struggle with it and our emotions, knowing full well we did the right thing.
Comment by Charles A — November 10, 2007 @ 7:46 pm
Concha - thank fate you were there in her hour of need! You were able to end her suffering in a kind and gentle way.
Cats purr when they are on “overload” for both wonderful and horrible reasons. They purr when they nurse their kittens or you scratch them under the chin - and they purr when they are in pain or near death.
It is never easy to euthanize an animal, your own or someone elses - I’ve had to do both in the past few months. BTW “euthanasia” comes from Greek origins and translates to “good or beautiful death.”
Our best wishes to you and your family,
MaineMom, Lincoln and Disco
Comment by MaineMom — November 10, 2007 @ 8:11 pm
Cricket was diagnosed with intestinal lymphoma and given about 3 months… This was the first pet we got after we got married, the runt of the litter, she once fit it the palm of my hand, a rescue from PAWS, and the place I decided every pet gets at least one mortgage-payment vet visit.
With treatment she was feeling much better, got perky and active, ate well, and generally got much better. You can imagine she did not like the every-3-week-blood-draw. No, she started growling as soon as we turned toward the clinic - she knew the way to other places and this one always led to a shave and a needle…
The vet, who posts pets and the clinics nicknames for them, commerated her with ‘Cricket the Crab’ which prompted a number of people to ask who had a pet crab…
It was 3 years of Lukeran and blood draws, at a pretty price, too, as it added up. Worth it all, too. There were low points, and I had an agreement with the cat. I have no doubt she understood it on some level, when she was ready, it was time, we would not let her suffer, and she would not die alone.
At the last low point it was time to try force-feeding; she could no longer keep the food down. My wife had a business trip, we thought Cricket would last the week… The night my wife left Cricket decided she was not going to be fed, and went into hiding…
There were limited places to hide, but there was noplace to find her. The next day, still no sign of the cat, I agreed it was time and the next morning we would make that last trip…
There she was, rubbing my ankle and purring. Since the next day was Sunday and the vet was closed we went to the local emergency clinic. The vet there put in the needle, and the cat was purring the whole time. There was a little sigh as she closed her eyes.
Don’t think I can write this without a few tears for my friend of 18 years, even though this was 2 years ago, now.
The hospital, however, was over-the-top… They offered to let me spend some time to say goodbye. As I left, they gave me a pair of kitty-angel pins. But there was more to come…
When we collected her ashes, they had another box to give us… They had made an imprint of her paws in clay for us…
This place was absolutely superb in helping us through that time. (NOTE For those who run clinics and hospitals where people have to go when these decisions are made, consider these gestures…) I don’t have paw-prints from Amber, who we got shortly after Cricket and was put to sleep after a major stroke the day after Christmas just a few months before, I really wish I had thought of that.
Those paw prints are very special to us now.
Best wishes.
Comment by steve a — November 12, 2007 @ 2:36 pm
I absolutely agree with the pawprints! Even before Heather’s decision to make her own, I saw some of those kits on sale and bought them. :)
Comment by Gina Spadafori — November 12, 2007 @ 2:42 pm
Well Gina, On Jan22 1999 I took my beagle to the vet they told me to come back at 1230 to pick her up when I get there They bring me into this room and under neath a yellow towel is my dog DEAD. She was put to sleep without my permission.then they had the nerve to hand me a euthanise { i can’t spell that word I’m to upset} Concent form for me to sign. I freaked out.Then the state told me he other complaints against him.It’s so hard for me to trust vet’s now.
Comment by Joni — November 12, 2007 @ 5:25 pm
Oh my goodness, Joni! That’s awful!
I’m so sorry that happened to you (and to your beloved Beagle).
Comment by The OTHER Pat — November 12, 2007 @ 5:32 pm
Even though it happen almost 10 years ago I’m still a mess. I wish to God I never left her there. I reported him to the dept of proffesional regulation They put what he what he to cleo on his record . Then he had the B.lls to give me a $400.00 bill.
Comment by Joni — November 12, 2007 @ 6:57 pm