The Friday funnies: Cats, dogs and food
By Gina Spadafori
June 1, 2007
Coupla funny posts on other blogs recommended by readers …
The first: How do you explain a recall to a cat? Elaine Viets tackles the question on The Lipstick Chronicles blog:
You are looking at the picture of sorrow. It has just dawned on my cat Harry that his beloved stinky fish has been recalled. He will never again eat that smelly mess.
“Stinky fish” is the family name for Harry’s favorite food: Hill’s Science Diet ocean fish for kittens.
Most pet food seems designed for cat owners. It’s made to look like something you’d put on a party cracker.
Stinky fish stunk. It was redolent of a Dumpster on a summer day. Harry adored it. He craved his treat the way I enjoy Lindt dark chocolate.
How would I look if the world’s chocolate supply had been recalled?
Check out Harry.
At first the recall was only for dry food. Harry’s favorite treat was safe. But then Harry’s Science Diet brand was added to the banned list. We had four cans in the cabinet, none with bad numbers. We scoured the pet food stores for more, but there wasn’t any.
Each night, we fed Harry another spoonful, knowing his world would soon change for the worse.
Poor, poor Harry. (Hey, Elaine, check out Christie’s SFGate.com piece on switching food on a cat.)
Not recall-related, but food related, this conversation with a dog involving the theft of sweet potatoes:
Dog: I am starving.
Me: Actually, no. You aren’t starving. You get two very good meals a day. And treats. And Best Beloved fed you extra food while I was gone.
Dog: STARVING.
Me: I saw you get fed not four hours ago! You are not starving.
Dog: Pity me, a sad and tragic creature, for I can barely walk, I am so starving. WOE.
Me: I am now ignoring you.
Dog: STARVING.
Dog: Did you hear me? I am starving.
Dog: Are you seriously ignoring me? Fine.[There is a pause, during which the dog exits the room in a pointed manner.]
[From the kitchen, there comes a noise like someone is eating a baseball bat.]
Me, yelling: What the hell are you doing?
Me: *makes haste for the kitchen and finds dog there*
Dog: *picks up entire raw sweet potato, which is what was causing the baseball bat noise, and flees for the bedroom*
Me: *chases dog, retrieves most of sweet potato, less the portion which has disappeared into dog’s gullet*
Dog: See? STARVING.
Me: …That can’t be good for you. It’s a RAW SWEET POTATO.
Dog: I had to do it. I haven’t been fed. Ever.
Me: You realize you aren’t normal. Normal dogs don’t steal raw sweet potatoes.
Dog, sadly: I was badly brought up.
Me: Yes. Yes, you were.
Dog: By people who starved me.
Me: Oh, no. I am not doing this again.
Me: *exits the room, bearing sweet potato*
Very, very funny. And by the way: The dog’s pretty smart. Sweet potatoes are good for dogs. (Well, not raw, but … )
Loved the Raw Sweet Potato bit. Reminds me of a pit I owned once that stole a peach sitting in a bowl just about his eye level - snatched it on a full run -
Comment by Linda — June 1, 2007 @ 8:49 am
Too funny! :)) Loved it, especially:
“Dog: I had to do it. I haven’t been fed. Ever.” As in never; I can see my cats saying that!
Thanks for the big grinned, belly chuckle!!!
Comment by Peggy (AKA: Big Fat Momma Cat) — June 1, 2007 @ 8:55 am
When did you sneak into my house?! This scene has occurred more than once with raw sweet potato, carrots, romaine, squash, melon…(hubby is a slow learner re incorrigible thieves.)
Comment by Theresa — June 1, 2007 @ 9:01 am
!!! This reminds me of my Bengal’s brother! His name was Tater. The breeder named him that because, at a mear 2 months old, he’d get on the counter and try to steal A WHOLE POTATO!!! It had to be almost bigger than him!
Comment by BengalMom — June 1, 2007 @ 9:41 am
Puck gets her raw sweet potatoes out of the garden once she saw me harvest them and figured out where they come from. They are a bigger hit than the regular potatoes, tomatoes, peas and carrots she also steals with some regularity, even after I put up the fence around my beds.
Comment by Carol PW — June 1, 2007 @ 12:13 pm
“It was (20) 40 years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play” … (and into history they went)
Musical Milestone:
On this day in 1967, four decades ago, the Fab Four released “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band,” which was and still is one of the best albums of all time. Claire Shipman takes a look back.
http://abcnews.go.com/Video/playerIndex?id=3234229
Comment by Kat — June 1, 2007 @ 12:21 pm
That sweet potato story is hilarious! hahahaaha!
Comment by Kat — June 1, 2007 @ 12:30 pm
He probably liked the crunch too!
I used to have a cat, when I lived in Austin (70’s-peace/love-hippy daze), who would eat those big black water bugs. One year, Austin had a HUGE problem with them — they were everywhere — roads, the ground, on walls, flying — yike!
Anyway, my cat used to catch them & crunch, crunch, cruch — ALL GONE!
Comment by Kat — June 1, 2007 @ 12:36 pm
Thanks so much for the laugh. I’m trying to laugh really quietly because I’m at work and don’t really want everyone to think I’ve gone round the bend. I will have to read this again later when I can really let it out. This reminds me of soooo many dog’s I’ve known and loved. They do have their ways!
Comment by Marilyn — June 1, 2007 @ 12:41 pm
My Whippet, Moose, jumped up on the kitchen counter to steal a raw sweet potato and ate most of it before I noticed.
Comment by Cate — June 1, 2007 @ 3:15 pm
Usually around this time of year we get “miller moths” that my cat likes to jump up, catch, and swallow whole. This year, however, it is “slim pickin’s” because the “miller moths” have gone up to the mountains without coming here.
No pity, please, ‘cause he is eating some other bugs he finds in our grass.
Comment by Evelyn — June 1, 2007 @ 3:27 pm
I know how Harry feels - I have one bottle of Sagawas Teryaki sauce left… They stopped making it a while back…
Our cats are strictly indoor - outdoor only on leash, and they do handle the leash fairly well… except for tree climbing… nuff said…
After an invasion from the garage a couple years ago they won’t even bother with a spider below a certain, rather large, radius - just not dangerous enough…
Moths are only interesting if they are quick, but crickets (every now and then some frog food escapes) are fascinating… Almost the same color as the carpet, and they seem to just vanish even when a cat couldn’t possibly miss… and then they magically appear a few inches away… now THAT’s cool…
Comment by steve a — June 1, 2007 @ 8:28 pm
When I was growing up, some of our cats had a favorite treat: June bugs. They are fairly large beetles, and they are very noisy. They have a loud buzz, and they are also very crunchy.
Comment by Pamela J. Betz-Baron — June 3, 2007 @ 5:34 am
LOL, thanks so much for posting this story for a needed laugh!
My dog is fond of batting his food bowl around and then looking up at me wistfully: “Please! Food! I’m so hungry — I haven’t eaten in days!”
Liar. You just ate two hours ago.
Comment by JM Leong — June 3, 2007 @ 11:37 am
June bugs are good, very exciting; they make lots of noise!! And we have these tiny white-yellow butterflies that must taste very good ‘cause they really go crazy over them! ;)
Comment by Peggy (AKA: Big Fat Momma Cat) — June 4, 2007 @ 7:15 am