pet connection

Definitely an unusual test-vehicle for me this week, considering my focus is on minivans, crossovers, wagons and SUVs — in other words, vehicles with room inside to transport dogs in safety, preferably in crates.

But of course, a lot of people with dogs have trucks, and it’s possible to safely secure crates in the bed, or even (as with some people who have sled dogs or hunting dogs) install a special carrier.

In general, though, a monster truck like the Nissan Titan 4×4 is just more than most people need. Too much size, too much power, and too darn hard to park. Fuel economy? Ah c’mon, do you have to ask? (Try 13/18 for the 4×4 crew cab, better for the “smaller” king cab and 2×4.)

This is a truck aimed at men, mostly those who fall into one of three categories:

• They’re contractors.
• They’re ranchers.
• They’re city or suburb guys who watch ads for “male enhancement products” and wonder, “Do those really work?”

I have to drive these vehicles keeping in mind the work they were developed for, and the market they’re aimed at. Which is why although I personally wouldn’t have much need for an eight-cylinder monster truck, I could definitely appeciate it as the top-grade workhorse it’s designed to be. After a couple days of gingerly piloting it around town (mirrors are your friend, and parking spaces are always too small in city and suburb), I decided to pretend I was a cowgirl. I whistled Heather the retriever cow-dog into the shotgun seat, hooked up her stylish red safety harness, and set off for the feed store.

Because, well, my livestock needed some hay.

Yep, I looked the part, with my jeans, sweatshirt, Ariat paddock boots and University of Woof gimmee cap. The teenager at the feed store grunted in recognition, chirped at pretty Heather and hurled a 100-pound bale of fresh-cut timothy effortlessly into the bed, using those cool hay hooks.

“Just one?” he asked in surprise, and I nodded, slightly embarassed to admit the hay was for bunnies, not horses. He thanked me, wished me a Merry Christmas and that was that.

I was passing for a cowgirl!

On the way home, we stopped at the grocery store, and a weather-beaten guy with a honest-to-heavens cowboy hat and Ford F150 glanced in the truck bed. “On the way to the stable?” he said, and I nodded again.

Whoa! It’s true: You are what you drive!

When I got home, I hauled the hay (using my little red wagon) under the patio cover next to the bunnies’ outdoor play yard. Before I did, though, I posed my young stud puppy retriever like the ranch dog he used to be before my friend Mary sent him west to me from her Texas cattle ranch. (No, Woody did NOT ride loose in the truck. It’s just a picture, OK? By the way: Here’s another. Yes, I love my pets.)

But enough about my ranching daydreams. My week with the Titan is almost up, and with it, my time as an urban cowgirl.

If I had a ranch, a horse-trailer or enough dogs to have a kennel box, I’d love the Nissan Titan. It’s comfortable, powerful, built like a freakin’ tank and clearly meant for years and years of hard physical labor. (Although it should be noted you need to buy the optional extension to put a sheet of plywood in the crew cab’s bed, which, I’m told, is a key requirement for a Real Man’s Truck.) The Titan’s design, though clearly aimed at men, is clean and attractive. Nissan’s biggest truck is even pretty well-priced for a massive four-wheel-drive, at $35K for the one I drove, well-equipped.

Ranchers, contractors, cowgirls and guys with feelings of inadequacy: This one’s for you.

But for most of us urban or suburban dog-wranglers, it’s just not the right fit.

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